Thursday, April 28, 2011

Reality News

And she's just as non-interesting as you imagined she'd be.
Interview With Hope Dworaczyk

Run, Kroy. Faster than when another player is chasing you, or whatever sports cliche is appropriate here. I don't know sports. Sorry.
Did Kim Zolciak’s NFL Beau Call Off the Wedding?

Time to expand the double wide.
'Teen Mom' Leah Messer pregnant again?

Oh, so now having ass sex with another man on camera is "gay porn?" Pssssh...
The Real World's Dustin Zito on His Gay Porn Past

The Real World Las Vegas Episode 8 - "Dustin Shows His Hand, Heather Folds"

Frat Pad's just a couple 'a guys, watchin' sports, chuggin' beers, and havin' sex with each other. Photo -

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Reality News

She's also in denial about being good at runway-walking. **pump it pump it pump it**
'Housewives' Star Peggy Tanous: "I Was In Denial" About Postpartum Depression

You snooze, you lose, Stephen Colletti.
Jay Cutler, Kristin Cavallari Prepping Wedding

Then he must be dead. That's the only answer.
'The Bachelor': Emily Maynard Back on Twitter But No Brad Womack

It's a tragedy when a family that only exists because of one night of humping in an '89 Chevy Caprice breaks up.
Teen Mom Leah Messer moves out of her and Corey's house

Monday, April 25, 2011

Reality News

He's up for Husband of the Year, as long as he gets his f*ckin' half-dozen pears
Drita D'Avanzo's husband Lee D'Avanzo is in jail for bank robbery

Some men have a penchant for old lady ass crack.
Michael Lohan Dating 'Real Housewife' Kim Granatell

"Star" is Placentia-ese for "Drunk."
Audrina Patridge 'not surprised' mom is a star

Changing lives, one mechanical bull and watered-down Long Island at a time.
Exclusive Saddle Ranch Cast Interview W/ Robb Zbacnik, Rachel Lay & Cassie

Real Housewives of Orange County Episode 8 - "Kiss and Tell"

Sometimes, not even a chaste kiss with another woman from over a year ago is scandalous enough to get you a slot on a reality show. photo -

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Reality News

No, Vick-Tard, you caused the divorce by being on the show for six seasons.
'Real Housewife': The show caused my divorce

Ew, a skinny meatball? No thanks.
Snooki Lost A Lot of Weight, No Longer A Grenade

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Reality News

 You know what else is real? Poop. That doesn't mean I want to listen to it sing.
‘Real Housewives’ Star Simon van Kempen Competes with Rachel Black 

 What's shocking is that Gary Shirley has only had one girlfriend in his life. Bitches be picky.
Gary Shirley and Amber Portwood Break Up For Millionth Time  

"Slob on my delicious shrimp and asparagus risotto."
Three 6 Mafia to Appear on VH1 Reality Show, 'Famous Food'

Whatever, dick. Maybe if you would have fed her dogs you'd still have a left arm.
Tom Lippolis: JWoww Freaking Stabbed Me!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Real World Las Vegas Episode 7 - "Cooke Monsters"

"Cooke" cooks up some trouble. photo -

Reality News

Gretchen Christine Beaute goes to court-ay.
'Real Housewife' Gretchen Rossi Sued For Fraud 

Guess we can all cancel Brokeback Mountain (or other gay sex movie) from our Netflix queue.
Manzo bros. to get more screentime during Season 3 of 'Housewives' 

Oh, this took place in FLORIDA? You don't say.
Jennifer Del Rio, 16 and Pregnant Star, Accused of Slugging Baby Daddy Josh Smith

I'd have more to say about this, but I've already killed myself.
Are Brad Womack and Emily Maynard over?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Reality News

Jim Bellino stinks up Kourtney Kardashian's b-day with his bloaty-bloat stench.
Bellinos… What is Their ‘Creep’ Number? 

Oh, it was an "accident", Roberto? Is that so?
Ali Fedotowsky has kayak accident and gets five staples in head 

It's high time gays had the same opportunity to have sex in front of cameras so their grandmas will eventually see.
TV producers scout Boystown for reality show

Monday, April 18, 2011

Reality News

But she can't promise it won't happen again. Maybe even this week, if there's a sale on Dewar's at BevMo.
Audrina's Mom Apologizes for Her Filmed Drunken Rant on 'Audrina' Premiere

Kroy Jr. already wants out.
Kim Zolciak hosts classy baby shower

If the fur coat fits...
'Mob Wives' debuts, gets Staten Islanders talking about the Mafia stereotype portrayed

I can hear Barbara screaming from five states away.
"Teen Mom 2" Star Jenelle Evan's Sister Is Pregnant With Triplets

Real Housewives of Orange County Episode 7 - "Riches to Rags"

No you di-int, Jesus Barbie. Photo -

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Reality News

Pinched-nostril sounding "Clonk!"
Celebrity Apprentice Star NeNe Leakes Wants More Plastic Surgery

Pictures of fat slabs of dough always fly off the magazine racks.
Tareq Salahi in Playgirl

T-shirt with bullet holes tiiiiiiiime...
G Unit Records to Sign Jersey Shore’s DJ Pauly D

The kid from "Deliverance" tries out married life.
Is Teen Mom's Maci Bookout engaged to Kyle King?

Friday, April 15, 2011

Reality News

"Darl Goes to Jail." Like "Earnest Goes to Jail", but with more anal rape.
Butch From ‘Teen Mom’ Back Behind Bars….Again

Interestingly enough, the set is a basement in Van Nuys. Wear a condom, Jill.
Jill Zarin To Guest Star On ‘White Collar’ 

She dodged a fire-crotched bullet on that one.
Audrina Patridge `dating Prince Harry`s friend`

As if The Olds needed more proof that Manhattan was "better in the 80s".
Kim Kardashian On Moving To NYC: My Boyfriend, Kris Humphries, Is Here & It’s A Natural Progression!

Real Housewives of New York City Episode 2 - "March Madness"

Quick, we need an excuse to wear our wedding dresses again. Photo -

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Reality News

Who needs friends when you have a plastic surgeon?
'Real Housewife' Jill Zarin Debuts Dramatic New Look

I think he doth protest too much...
Ology Exclusive: Interview With Dustin Zito ('Real World Las Vegas')

Add another name to the already full chore wheel...
 Sister Wives' Kody and Robyn Brown expecting

Why are we worried about gays destroying the institution of marriage again?
"Teen Mom 2" star Leah Messer and Husband Corey Simms Divorcing

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Real World Las Vegas Episode 6 - "Sexiles/Exiles"

True love waits... three months after one of you gets kicked off of a reality show for breaking shit. Photo -

Reality News

Finally! A daytime talker for viewers who find "The Talk" too intellectually overreaching.
Ali Fedotowsky Lands View-Like Talk Show

If only Speidi would learn from their past mistakes...
Whitney Port 'won't do show with boyfriend'

The cabs might be here, but the applause is noticeably absent. 
 Charlie Sheen Bombs in Boston Despite Pauly D. Joining Him Onstage

People who live in glass whorehouses shouldn't throw stones. 
 Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis Calls Miami Housewives "Train Wrecks"

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Reality News

This show is going to get the shit watched out of it.
Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, Danielle Staub & Three 6 Mafia In The Kitchen

It's like a rectal exam being more popular than a pap smear.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Real Housewives of Orange County Episode 6 - "What a Difference a Year Makes"

The photo booth at Six Flags now offers a scene from Madonna's "Take a Bow" video. Photo - 

Reality News

Rule #1 - After your foreclosure auction, set up separate "His & Hers" newspaper piles in the cardboard box.
'Real Housewives of Orange County's' Alexis and Jim Bellino share 6 of their many relationship rules

Next up: "Jasmine Guy's Guys." It's a dating show.
Sinbad joins the club of celebrities with reality series

Pubes the cast left behind on the toilet seat can be yours for an extra $50 a month.
‘Jersey Shore’ house now for rent

Read about the dating tribulations of a woman who might be legally retarded.
Harsh reality hurts Audrina's ex-lover Corey Bohan

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Reality News

Dina Manzo lands a show about party planning on HGTV. She'll use a black and white color scheme for Joe Giudice's "Welcome Home from Jail" celebration.
'Housewife' Dina Manzo getting her own series

Speaking of jail, Apollo Nida. 
'Housewives' Star -- Mistakenly Handcuffed By Feds

Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. 
Jake Pavelka Runs Away From Ex Vienna Girardi

Important biographical information about a woman who spends all day taking hair off of vaginas.
Real Housewives of New York's Cindy Barshop: 5 Things to Know

Friday, April 8, 2011

Reality News

Someone with a shitty voice feels bad for someone with a good voice.
Jennifer Lopez Tells American Idol's Pia Toscano to 'Have Faith'

Audrina's mom gives other Embarrassing Drunk Moms of Reality Stars (ahem, Ronnie Magro-Ortiz) a run for their money.
Reality Family Feud! Audrina Patridge's Mom Calls Out the Kardashians!

He would do anything for love, including accusing someone of stealing his paint when it's really in a plastic bag in the corner.
Gary Busey on Meat Loaf's 'Apprentice' explosion: 'I don't know if this is real or put on'

Maybe the Redskins Cheerleaders will take her back.
Michaele Salahi: There Can't Be a Real Housewives of D.C. Without Me

Real Housewives of New York Episode 1 - "Grin and Bare It"

Ramona Singer gives "tips" to young job candidates. Three have since killed themselves. Photo -

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Reality News

He's pursuing a career in entertainment? What the fuck is he going to do? Charge people to watch him get drunk and break picture frames?
Ology Exclusive: Interview With Adam Royer ('Real World Las Vegas')

Maybe they can straighten each others' hair post-coitus.
American Idol contestants Casey Abrams and Haley Reinhart enjoy an off-screen romance

What do Italy and Jenni "J-Woww" Farley have in common? No joke -  I really want to know. She's, like, Irish or some shit.
Italy trip delayed for 'Jersey Shore' cast?

Casting call for fans of the "Poor Man's Anita Baker."
Does your entire family love Toni Braxton? Now Casting

The Real World Las Vegas Episode 5 - "Playas Gettin' Played"

Adam make a persuasive case against wearing sunglasses in the club. Photo -

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Reality News

The first book will include a chapter called "Beef Curtains and You."
Lauren Conrad lands three-book deal with HarperCollins

Getting dumped by a man in a wig can make you do crazy things. Just ask Big Poppa.
Rock of Love Reality Trainwreck Faces the Music Over Booze Cruise

MTV will document the one group of people dumber than teens who think the pull-out method is reliable contraception.
MTV hooks up with 'Catfish'

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Reality News

What will she do at her 41st birthday party? Set the bartenders on fire? Unload a machine gun on her in-laws?
Bethenny Ever After Renewed for Third Season

Because treating your alcoholic sister like shit is a full-time job.
'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills': Kyle Richards might be out.

The fat jokes write themselves.
Video: Kirstie Alley falls, recovers nicely on ‘Dancing with the Stars

If a chubby, balding, Ed Hardy-clad father of 8 can find a date, why not his ex-wife? Just kidding. She sucks.
Kate Gosselin dating?!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Reality News

The talent portion will feature Kim G hugging the bottom of a pole with her ass crack showing.
EXCLUSIVE: Real Housewife Kim G Wants To Become Real Beauty Queen

So this should really just be called "Actor Wives". Because wrestling is fake. Get it?
Wrestling Wives Team Up For Reality Show

Let the "That Baby's Going to Be Really Tall" jokes commence.
Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom Want to Have a Baby..."Hopefully Soon"!

I feel sad for the paparazzi that have to work the Anderson, Indiana beat.
Picture This: Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley All Smiles

Real Housewives of Orange County Episode 5 - "No Hate"

The housewives take time out of their busy schedules of relaxing and getting spa treatments to attend a party about relaxing and getting spa treatments.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Reality News

Joe Giudice, looking extra "juicy and delicious" in his mug shot. 

Emily Maynard has to invest in some skinny jeans and PBR if she's ever going to make it in Austin. An ironic mullet would really seal the deal.
'Bachelor' update: Emily Maynard is moving to Texas for Brad Womack

Lil' Jon would make a great running mate. He's got the public speaking enthusiasm to rival Howard Dean, and it's time someone in federal government had dreads. 
Trump for President in 2012? Maybe. Trump for Trump? Without Question.

Snooki makes more money than Toni Morrison, Britney Spears makes more money than Placido Domingo, Wee Man makes more money than smart short people. That's the way of the world.
Sideshow: Snooki delivers $32,000 pearls of wisdom

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Reality News

Dionne Warwick is an asshole. Was she always an asshole, or is she now just an asshole in an old-person way?
Dionne Warwick speaks up about 'Celebrity Apprentice': In tune or sour note?

But what about Dwight? WHAT ABOUT DWIGHT????
All six ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ set to be back for season four

Donn Gunvalson and Vicki Whatever-the-Fuck-Her-Last-Name-is-Now attempt to sell their fugly McMansion.
'O.C. Real Housewife' -- Buy, Buy House

So it's official - Tamra Barney and Eddie Judge are just beards for each other. That explains the whole "chugging wine to make sex bearable with someone of the opposite sex" thing.
Tamra gets naked with lesbian friend on 'Housewives'

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