The Real World Las Vegas Episode 8 - "Dustin Shows His Hand, Heather Folds"

Frat Pad's just a couple 'a guys, watchin' sports, chuggin' beers, and havin' sex with each other. Photo - mtv.com

At The Venetian, one of the biggest hotels in the world...


NAOMI - The Venetian? What's that?

MIKE MIKE - Oh, you know, just one of the biggest hotels in the world.

NAOMI - Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.

LEROY - Dustin, wanna go on the gondola with me?

DUSTIN ZITO - Ew, no. That's gay. But I'll ess your peen behind the Wheel of Fortune slot machines.

LEROY -   And that's not gay?

DUSTIN ZITO -  No. Wanting to feel another man's genitals against the soft inner part of your cheek is just a desire to experience a full range of oral sensations.

**Silence**.

DUSTIN ZITO - Ok, its kinda gay. Have fun on the gondola. I'm going to Subway.



Back at the Hard Rock...

HEATHER - Oh, look what came in the mail via the US Postal Service! A handwritten letter from my mother.

LEROY- Handwritten?! Who is she, Mike Mike?

MIKE MIKE - Heather's mother and I appreciate the thought that goes into handwritten notes. It's why I learned calligraphy.

HEATHER - Ahem. **reads aloud** 

Dear Heather,
Your fuck buddy Spencer is all over the internet, tickling taints and nuzzling armpits. 

Love, Mom.
 PS - Have you been on the coaster at New York New York yet?  

DUSTIN ZITO - **returning from lunch** Best. Sweet. Onion. Teriyaki. Ever.

NANY - Oh, I bet you know a thing or two about sweet onions.

DUSTIN ZITO - Oh shit. You all know, huh?

HEATHER -  About you tickling taints and nuzzling armpits? Yes.

DUSTIN ZITO - What's wrong with showing affection to other men in the nude for a worldwide audience?

MIKE MIKE - Nothing. As long as you tell everyone you meet about it right away. Otherwise, you're a liar.

LEROY - So now you asking to suck my peen behind the Wheel of Fortune slot machines makes sense.

DUSTIN ZITO - That was just my way of dealing with my mother's bipolar disorder.

HEATHER - Uh, should I get tested?

DUSTIN ZITO - You bitch. How dare you worry about your sexual health when I'm suffering.

HEATHER -  But seriously...

DUSTIN ZITO - Yeah, you'd probably better.