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| True love waits... three months after one of you gets kicked off of a reality show for breaking shit. Photo - MTV.com |
Before a trip to Vanity Night Club, which is apparently the only club in Las Vegas...
MIKE MIKE - Let's make a bet. First one to get a girl to write a Haiku on their genitals, wins.
LEROY - Who the fuck brings a pen to the club? It's 2011.
MIKE MIKE - Meth heads from Virginia.
LEROY - Cool. "I once knew a man from Nantucket..."
MIKE MIKE - That's a limerick, dude.
LEROY - FUCK! **smashes a glass on the floor, and then cleans it up**
Outside Vanity Night Club...
RANDY, VANITY NIGHT CLUB MANAGER - You can't come in here.
ADAM ROYER - Why? Cuz I broke a bottle of Grey Goose over the busboy's head? It was just a busboy. It's not like it was a real person.
RANDY - No. It's because you're wearing nothing but a towel.
ADAM - It's Halloween.
RANDY - Costumes are supposed to cost money.
ADAM - Not in Maine.
RANDY - Oh, you're from Maine? Then you're doubly not allowed in this club.
ADAM - But you let in Dustin, who isn't even dressed as Lil' Jon but keeps saying Lil' Jon catch phrases.
RANDY - Yeah, well.... he sucked my dick.
ADAM - Ah, ok. See you in the men's room in ten.
At the Hard Rock suite...
SECURITY - "Dear Adam, please leave this hotel. Love, Security."
ADAM - Why are you reading this off a piece of paper?
SECURITY - I just get so nervous...
ADAM - It's ok, take a deep breath.
SECURITY - **deep breath** Ok... you can do this, Horace. You can do this. Ahem. "Do you agree to leave right now?"
ADAM - Yes.
SECURITY - Phew. I was worried you'd pitch a fit, and I'd have to act all security-like.
NANY - **flinging herself dramatically on the ground** NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHY HIM? WHY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM?
SECURITY - Uh, because he's the one that broke three grand worth of Ikea shit.
NANY - **chains herself to to the bathroom sink** I'm going on a hunger strike until I get to see Adam again!
ADAM - I'm staying at Caesar's. It's a five minute cab ride.
NANY - Oh. Anybody got the keys to these handcuffs?
ADAM - Nope.
SECURITY - Nope.
NANY - Huh. Gandhi pulled off this hunger strike thing a lot better.
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