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| Adam make a persuasive case against wearing sunglasses in the club. Photo - MTV.com |
At Vanity, the hottest club not on the Strip...
NANY - The busboy has a girlfriend!
HEATHER - That dick. How dare he be in a committed relationship in a town where carrying yard-long penis-shaped plastic containers of strawberry daiquiris in public is not only legal, but encouraged.
NANY - That's exactly what I said when I found out! Oh god... Will I ever find another busboy?
LEROY - There are, like, three hundred busboys in this club alone.
HEATHER - You don't get it! You'll never understand what it's like!
LEROY - Good, I'd rather not know what's it's like to be sad a busboy has a girlfriend.
MIKE MIKE - Where does the busboy take his girlfriend on a date, anyway? McDonalds?
LEROY - HAHA! Go Christian white boy! You made a joke!
MIKE MIKE - Thanks. I've been trying to find the perfect moment to whip it out.
LEROY - You're really improving. Just need to work on making sure your voice doesn't go up high at the end -
NANY - Um, excuse me? I'm the focus of this week's episode.
NAOMI - Will I ever know how that feels?
HEATHER - Hmm... Probs not.
**Adam and Maine friends enter the bar**
ADAM - We from Maine! And we gonna do how Mainers do!
ADAM'S FRIEND - Drink and wear dark sunglasses!
ADAM - Awwwww shit! Maine Department of Corrections Juvenile Services in the HEYOUSE! **grabs Nany's ass and kisses her.**
NANY - Wow. That was like crack. Which, from what I've heard, is pretty decent in Maine. I need more.
HEATHER - Why did you do that? You said you were done with him and his red Marionette cheeks.
NANY - He loves me, Heather.
HEATHER - Oh yeah? Why is he making out with that blond version of the female wrestler Chyna?
NANY - He's just trying to make me jealous, because he loves me so much.
HEATHER - Now he's licking the bouncer's earlobe.
NANY - He's probably just curious about the taste of clean Armenian ear skin. Can you blame him?
HEATHER - Aaaand now he's making out with Dustin. Fuck, I knew that dude was gay.
NANY - Heather, are you suggesting Adam will make out with anything? I thought we were friends.
HEATHER - You're right, sorry. He loves you.
Back at the ranch...
ADAM - IKEA SUCKS!!!!! **punches picture frame so hard his pinky gets an owie**
NANY - Don't destroy our economy-brand furnishings. If you want to hit something, hit me. I can take it.
ADAM - Bleeerrgggg. **pukes out his Pink Taco dinner**
NANY - Did you hear me? I said I've been abused before.
ADAM - **passes out**
NANY - This is really good television right now. Do you even care?
CAMERA GUY - We care. We'll tack a PSA on the end of the ep.
NANY - Thanks. That's really what I was going for here.
**Cue Public Service Announcement**
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