At Abby Lee Miller Studios...
ABBY LEE MILLER - Paige, you suck too hard to include in the group dance. But your mom pays tuition on time, so I have to give you a solo.
PAIGE HYLAND - Thank you.
ABBY LEE MILLER - Kelly, please take home this folding chair I "borrowed" from the VFW hall, paint it black, and apply stoppers to the legs.
KELLY HYLAND, BROOKE & PAIGE'S MOM - Will do. **takes chair to mom's room, colors with a sharpie, brings back within five minutes** Done!
**Paige dances with chair, slips and falls in a pool of black sharpie ink**
KELLY HYLAND - Uh... whoops.
ABBY LEE MILLER - Are you happy now? You half-assed your way through community college, and now you're half-assing being a mom.
KELLY HYLAND - Oh yeah? Well, half of your ass would be the size of a normal person's ass!
ABBY LEE MILLER - Was that a fat joke? I couldn't tell. Paige, was that a fat joke?
PAIGE HYLAND - **still injured on floor in a pool of ink** Yes, I think so.
ABBY LEE MILLER - You gotta step up your game, Kels.
KELLY HYLAND - Fuck you.
At the Energy Mitochondria Electrolyte Active Cultures Competition at Northside College Prep in Chicago...
ANNOUNCER - Paige to the stage. Hehe, that rhymes. Cool.
KELLY HYLAND - **backstage, clutching Paige like a doll** Sorry you cant dance today, honey. But we gotta teach that fat stupid bitch a lesson about being nice to people.
ANNOUNCER - No Paige to the stage? Guess we'll move along. Maddie to the marley! Hehe, alliteration.
**Maddie dances, but wanna-be laptop DJ stops the music to fuck with her. Maddie freezes**
ABBY LEE MILLER - **from audience, messily eating a Polish sausage** DON'T EMBARRASS ME!!!!!
MADDIE ZIEGLER - **finishes routine, runs to Abby in the audience** Did I do the right thing, Miss Abby?
ABBY LEE MILLER - Yes. This will be a useful lesson for adulthood. No matter how awful it feels, let him finish. **DJ gives thumbs up from backstage**
**Nia and Mackenzie perform Circus Circus number, where they pretend to play slots at shittiest hotel-casino on the strip. Zombie/Statue routine is next**
HOLLY HATCHER-FRAZIER, NIA'S MOM - Alright, here comes my big moment!
ABBY LEE MILLER - From disgraced elementary school principal to zombie costume designer. I'd say you're moving up in the world.
**Girls perform Zombie/Statue routine, which makes absolutely no sense**
ANNOUNCER - I don't get it. Last place.
THE END.
On the off chance that the artist is new, have the person in question move to a number to check whether they have potential. Thulasikadir Nuilliyeduthu
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