 |
| Sean Lowe is sweet Aryan perfection. |
Sean and Emily have a one-on-one in a public park...
EMILY MAYNARD - This is the best date, listening to weird English people stand on things and talk.
SEAN LOWE - Oh yeah? Check THIS out. **gets on box** Ahem. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..." **jumps down**
EMILY MAYNARD - Uh, was that Corinthians?
SEAN LOWE - No. I made it up on the spot. It's just how I feel.
EMILY MAYNARD - I'm pretty sure it was Corinthians.
SEAN LOWE - When are you just going to accept that I'm Aryan perfection, huh? When?
EMILY MAYNARD - Um... now? **they make out**
Doug pulls Emily aside after Kalon's trash-talking...
DOUG CLERGET - I'm just telling you this because I'm a parent. And not because I'm trying to get in those sweet, sweet knickers.
EMILY MAYNARD - I know we're in London, but you can just say "pants."
DOUG CLERGET - Right, sorry. Pants. Here goes. Kalon said you have a lot of baggage.
EMILY MAYNARD - I mean, we're here for a full week, and I need a cocktail outfit, a helicopter outfit, a bungee jumping outfit...
DOUG CLERGET - No, I mean baggage as in you have slept with another man and produced living evidence of that.
EMILY MAYNARD - Oh. Well, then I'm gonna go West Virginia on his ass!
DOUG CLERGET - You're going to practice incest in a coal mine?
EMILY MAYNARD - No, in the way Taylor Armstrong goes Oklahoma on people. You just pick the state you're from and then tell people you're going to go that state on them.
DOUG CLERGET - Ah, ok. Got it.
Emily enters the Room o' Dudes...
EMILY MAYNARD - Got a question for the Luxury Brand Consultant, whatever the fuck that is.
KALON MCMAHON - It means I visit retail outlets across Texas, and -
EMILY MAYNARD - I don't really want to know. So is there anything you've been doing or saying that I should be aware of?
KALON MCMAHON - I snuck out for some filler and a sprig of Botox between the brows last night.
EMILY MAYNARD - That's it?
KALON MCMAHON - Oh, and I told everyone that you have baggage.
EMILY MAYNARD- THEN GET THE FUCK OUT!
**Everyone sits in silence, Kalon does not move**
EMILY MAYNARD - Anybody wanna back me up here?
CHRIS DRISH - - Bro code, dude.
EMILY MAYNARD - You consider Kalon a BRO? I'm not sure he's even human!
RYAN BOWERS - Sorry, dude. It's just bro-licious, tasty Bro Code.
EMILY MAYNARD - You all suck.
Jef and Emily go to the "London Eye" for a one-on-one...
EMILY MAYNARD - Well, since we're in London, I figure we can do something you can do at all the Six Flags outposts. **they hop on a ferris wheel**
JEF HOLM - **throws skateboard into the bushes** This is better than Six Flags. Know why?
EMILY MAYNARD - Why?
JEF HOLM - Cuz I'm with you.
EMILY MAYNARD - Aw. So do you mind if I ask you why you didn't you stick up for me with Kalon?
JEF HOLM - I did! When he told me you had baggage, I said "Sure, but it's not like she's the Octomom or anything."
EMILY MAYNARD - You did?
JEF HOLM - Yep. I'm down for you, baby. **they kiss**
At the ceremony, Emily makes her elimination...
EMILY MAYNARD - **singing** "Don't call my name, don't call my name.... Alejandro."
ALEJANDRO VELEZ - I am frightened by how appropriate those Lady Gaga lyrics are for this particular situation.
EMILY MAYNARD - That's the most I've heard you say in an entire month.
ALEJANDRO VELEZ - There's a lot more where that came from.
**Silence**
EMILY MAYNARD - I think this is the part where you talk more to show me where it comes from.
ALEJANDRO VELEZ - Sorry, I'm tired.
EMILY MAYNARD -Well, bye.
ALEJANDRO VELEZ - Bye.
No comments:
Post a Comment