Monday, June 20, 2022

Jeopardy Recap - June 20, 2022 - Megan, Ketty and Toby

MAYIM BIALIK  - Today, on Jeopardy, we'll be hearing from Attachment Parenting expert Apple Bohannan, and learning why allowing your husband to sleep in your bed with you more than twice a fiscal quarter leads to penis envy in your male-identifying children.

PRODUCER MICHAEL - Mayim, they gave Kelly Clarkson the talk show. Not you. This is Jeopardy.

MAYIM - Can't we at least let Apple bring out the rubber breast for the tween suckling demo? 


MAYIM - Well, Michael is INSISTING that this is Jeopardy. Let's first meet Toby, who has been to 50 countries and 47 states.


MAYIM - Some strong feelings about states there.

MEGAN - Cleveland is a city.

MAYIM - **laughs nervously** I know that! Don't you think I know that? 

KETTY - I once swam with sharks.

MAYIM - It's already clear from that red peekaboo camisole that you're a risk-taker. 

MEGAN - Slut shaming! 

MAYIM - Leave it to "graying gracefully" over here to trot out the third wave platitudes. 

MEGAN - **buzzes** Eustachian tube! 

MAYIM - I hadn't asked a question yet, but since it reminds me of a funny co-sleeping story, I'll give it to you. You see, in 2009, my baby was - 


MAYIM - What, are you involved with Big Crib or something? Fine. Contestants, give me some horse idioms.

MEGAN -  Riding bareback. Riding side saddle. Reverse cowgirl. 

TOBY - Alright, alright, alright.

MAYIM - Down, Toby. 

PRODUCER MICHAEL - Thank god for these socially distanced podiums.

MAYIM -Next, let's talk air travel. What's the difference between a layover and a stopover? 

TOBY - With a layover you have two hours to wait in the airport bathroom with a "wide stance." With a stopover, you have four hours.

MAYIM - That is... not right. Serves me right for giving an open-ended question. Ketty, you've got a daily double! What is JoJo Siwa's sign?

KETTY - What is Capricorn?

MAYIM - EEEEEEHHHH. It's Taurus. Good luck facing your folks at home after that humiliation. 

MEGAN - What's a JoJo Siwa?


PRODUCER MICHAEL - Mayim, Belgium is the next category, but don't forget what you promised.

MAYIM - That I would never attempt my flawless French accent in honor of my predecessor Alex Trebek unless the date on the calendar happenes to be June 20, 2022?

PRODUCER MICHAEL - You know what? Let's skip the Belgium catetory. 

MAYIM - TV mashups! What do you get when you cross Phil Collins's daughter with Al Bundy's wife? 

TOBY - Pegging Emily? 

KETTY - This guy is starting to make me uncomfortable. 

MAYIM - As someone whose son still asks for "mommy treats" despite having five o'clock shadow every morning, me too. Me too. 

MEGAN - What are the chances that Final Jeopardy can be about Piracy? That was the subject of my PHD disseration.

MAYIM - I have one thing to say: ARRRRRRRGHHH NO. 

KETTY - That doesn't even make - 

MAYIM - I don't need your judgement, Nevada. Final Jeopardy is about British History.

KETTY - Yeah, like you said, I'm from Nevada.

MEGAN - Edward Teach? Pink Beard? Captain Jack Sparrow?


MAYIM - Whelp, looks like Megan won today with a whopping $491. Might even be able to fly home in a window seat with that. 


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