Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Vanderpump Rules Recap, Episode 6 - "Kiss and Tell"

Kristen Doute

Kristen asks Stassi to lunch...

KRISTEN DOUTE - I got us a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. It's what I drank before I fucked Jax.

STASSI SCHROEDER - How considerate. 

KRISTEN DOUTE -  I invited you here to tell you that Jax and Scheana have details on Schwartz's cheating.

STASSI SCHROEDER - Schwartz cheated? He can't even set up a Netflix account. 

KRISTEN DOUTE - Twice. Once in Vegas - 

STASSI SCHROEDER  - Not at the Golden Nugget, I hope. 

KRISTEN DOUTE - And once with Scheana's friend at a bar.

STASSI SCHROEDER -  Why are you telling me this? I thought you were so happy with British Slim Jim Head.

KRISTEN DOUTE -  I am happy with British Slim Jim Head. Er, I mean, James. But why should I be the only one made to suffer for cheating?

STASSI SCHROEDER -  I think it has something to do with the scent of stale coffee and your generally unpleasant demeanor.

KRISTEN DOUTE -  Fair enough. 

Katie confronts Jax at SUR...

KATIE MALONEY - Why do you hate me? 

JAX TAYLOR - I don't hate you. I hate your relationship. 

KATIE MALONEY - Tom and I are VERY happy, when we're not not having sex. 

JAX TAYLOR - Let me tell you something I learned from the hit movie "The Green Mile." Even if you have a urinary tract infection, you still show up at the ball.


JAX TAYLOR - You're soooo shallow. 

Tom comes clean with Katie...

TOM SCHWARTZ - It's true. I made out with someone. But his stubble made my cheek itch. 

KATIE MALONEY -  How could you? 

TOM SCHWARTZ - I was drunk, and we were fighting because I poured a drink on your head. 

KATIE MALONEY -  Oh, so this is MY fault? 

TOM SCHWARTZ  - Maybe you should just go straight to your friends' house for ice cream and Sex and the City 2. 

KATIE MALONEY -  Sex and the City 1. Give us some credit. 

To be continued...

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