Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, Episode 13 - "Point Break"

Terry and Heather Dubrow.

Christian and Lizzie prepare for their beach house party...

CHRISTIAN ROVSEK - I got some Fireball for the bros to shoot. 

LIZZIE ROVSEK - You realize all the other "bros" got an AARP discount when they went to see Titanic in the theater. 

CHRISTIAN ROVSEK - Pshaw, dude. It's cool. I also put a bag set outside so we can toss shit between beer bongs. 

LIZZIE ROVSEK - The most important thing is to make sure my parents are bound and gagged in the master bathroom so that nobody will know this beach house isn't really ours. 

CHRISTIAN ROVSEK - I thought we were just doing that because they're annoying. 

LIZZIE ROVSEK - Well, that, too. 

At the party, the group sits down to dinner...

TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Pssst! Secret time!

LIZZIE ROVSEK -  We're at a dinner party with 12 people - 

TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE -  Zip it, One Season Sally. I'll show you how it's done. **to Terry** Terry, Shannon said I said you said you wanted to take the Beadors down.

TERRY DUBROW - **shouts to Shannon** Hey, Betty Ford! Is this rumor true?

DAVID BEADOR - Please don't call my wife Betty Ford. There haven't been any attempts at sobriety.

SHANNON BEADOR - Let's take this outside. 

CHRISTIAN ROVSEK - Sweet, I set up a game of bags out there...

SHANNON BEADOR - Nobody wants to play bags, broseph.


SHANNON BEADOR - Tamra, admit that you told me the Dubrows want to take us down. 

TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - I don't lie. I swear on my natural breasts.


DAVID BEADOR - Well, it doesn't even matter because they couldn't take us down. We have an elevator and a basketball court.

HEATHER DUBROW - Terry, call the architect in the morning to have those drawn into the plans.


CHRISTIAN ROVSEK - Anybody wants shots of Fireball?

DAVID BEADOR -  Nobody wants Fireball, brohonky.

Brooks and Vicki stay inside...

BROOKS AYERS - If I say your vagina is my favorite body part and nobody's inside to hear it, is it really my favorite body part?

VICKI GUNVALSON - Oh, Brooks. I love it when you wax philosophical about my genitals.

BROOKS AYERS -  I thank God every day for inventing the Caesarean section.

VICKI GUNVALSON - I think it was, like, a doctor who invented the Caesarean section.

BROOKS AYERS - Shhh. **kisses her sloppily**


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