Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The Real Housewives of New York Recap, Episode 19 - "There's Something About Harry"

Josh and Kristen see a marriage therapist...

THERAPIST - What do you love about your wife? 

JOSH TAEKMAN - She's good with our crippled kid. 

THERAPIST - Good! Good. That's something. And you, Kristen?

KRISTEN TAEKMAN -  He is clever. Like how he tricked me into thinking he had way more money than he did. 

THERAPIST - Awesome. We're really making progress here. 

JOSH TAEKMAN - Wow. I have to say, I'm surprised by how good I feel after speaking with a mediator.


THERAPIST - You can call me whatever you please. Just know that I will do all I can to help you have a loving, successful marriage.

JOSH TAEKMAN - Can I lay down?

THERAPIST -  If your greasy scalp touches that leather I will sue.

Ramona and Mario ride with Avery to the airport before she leaves for college...

RAMONA SINGER -  I remember the night I put you in a cab so I could go out partying like it was yesterday. 

AVERY SINGER - Don't get emotional, Mom. Last time you got emotional you broke a Moroccan bed.

MARIO SINGER - I've broken a bed or two in Morocco. **winks**

RAMONA SINGER - But we've never been there together, Mare-io.

MARIO SINGER -  Huh. Weird. 

AVERY SINGER - Will you guys promise me things won't change when I'm away? 

MARIO SINGER - That all depends on how she handles finding me in flagrante with a 29-year-old. 

RAMONA SINGER - Oh, Mare-io! It's so sexy when you talk French to me.

AVERY SINGER **under her breath** Fucking idiot.

RAMONA SINGER - Don't cry, Avery. Mommy will never, ever, EVER change anything about herself. 

At Carole Radziwill's 50th birthday party...

HEATHER THOMSON - Yo yo yo it's ThomCat on the ones and twos, y'all muthafuckas better recognize that Radzi old as SHIT! 

HARRY DUBIN - Wow, Manhattan is really "changing."

SONJA MORGAN - So what did you want to tell me Harry? 

HARRY DUBIN - I like it, and I'm going to put a ring on it. 

SONJA MORGAN - Aw. Robert Frost? 


SONJA MORGAN - So does this mean we're engaged? I can have a robot baby storyline?

HARRY DUBIN - No. It's just to signify that if you get an dog, I will enroll you in the rewards program at PetSmart. 

SONJA MORGAN - You really love me, Harry. You really really love me.

Harry approaches Luann...

HARRY DUBIN - That song you sang about shit really got my motor running. 

COUNTESS LUANN - You mean that? Jacques always criticized me when I'd humiliate myself in public.

HARRY DUBIN - He's a putz. Wanna get out of here and repeat the Bathtub Escapade of '97?


Sonja tells Ramona about the ring...

SONJA MORGAN - And then he said he's already picked out a name for our robot baby. 

RAMONA SINGER - Oh wow. He's really serious. 

SONJA MORGAN - Harry? Harry! How do you feel about "Braylee"? 

RAMONA SINGER - Uh, I think he peaced. 

SONJA MORGAN - That's funny. I think LuAnn "peaced" too. **dun dun DUUUUUN**


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