Josh and Kristen see a marriage therapist...
THERAPIST - What do you love about your wife?
JOSH TAEKMAN - She's good with our crippled kid.
THERAPIST - Good! Good. That's something. And you, Kristen?
KRISTEN TAEKMAN - He is clever. Like how he tricked me into thinking he had way more money than he did.
THERAPIST - Awesome. We're really making progress here.
JOSH TAEKMAN - Wow. I have to say, I'm surprised by how good I feel after speaking with a mediator.
KRISTEN TAEKMAN - Therapist.
THERAPIST - You can call me whatever you please. Just know that I will do all I can to help you have a loving, successful marriage.
JOSH TAEKMAN - Can I lay down?
THERAPIST - If your greasy scalp touches that leather I will sue.
Ramona and Mario ride with Avery to the airport before she leaves for college...
RAMONA SINGER - I remember the night I put you in a cab so I could go out partying like it was yesterday.
AVERY SINGER - Don't get emotional, Mom. Last time you got emotional you broke a Moroccan bed.
MARIO SINGER - I've broken a bed or two in Morocco. **winks**
RAMONA SINGER - But we've never been there together, Mare-io.
MARIO SINGER - Huh. Weird.
MARIO SINGER - Huh. Weird.
AVERY SINGER - Will you guys promise me things won't change when I'm away?
MARIO SINGER - That all depends on how she handles finding me in flagrante with a 29-year-old.
RAMONA SINGER - Oh, Mare-io! It's so sexy when you talk French to me.
AVERY SINGER - **under her breath** Fucking idiot.
RAMONA SINGER - Don't cry, Avery. Mommy will never, ever, EVER change anything about herself.
RAMONA SINGER - Don't cry, Avery. Mommy will never, ever, EVER change anything about herself.
At Carole Radziwill's 50th birthday party...
HEATHER THOMSON - Yo yo yo it's ThomCat on the ones and twos, y'all muthafuckas better recognize that Radzi old as SHIT!
HARRY DUBIN - Wow, Manhattan is really "changing."
SONJA MORGAN - So what did you want to tell me Harry?
HARRY DUBIN - I like it, and I'm going to put a ring on it.
SONJA MORGAN - Aw. Robert Frost?
HARRY DUBIN - Sure.
SONJA MORGAN - So does this mean we're engaged? I can have a robot baby storyline?
HARRY DUBIN - No. It's just to signify that if you get an dog, I will enroll you in the rewards program at PetSmart.
SONJA MORGAN - You really love me, Harry. You really really love me.
Harry approaches Luann...
HARRY DUBIN - That song you sang about shit really got my motor running.
COUNTESS LUANN - You mean that? Jacques always criticized me when I'd humiliate myself in public.
HARRY DUBIN - He's a putz. Wanna get out of here and repeat the Bathtub Escapade of '97?
COUNTESS LUANN - Oui.
Sonja tells Ramona about the ring...
SONJA MORGAN - And then he said he's already picked out a name for our robot baby.
RAMONA SINGER - Oh wow. He's really serious.
SONJA MORGAN - Harry? Harry! How do you feel about "Braylee"?
RAMONA SINGER - Uh, I think he peaced.
SONJA MORGAN - That's funny. I think LuAnn "peaced" too. **dun dun DUUUUUN**
TO BE CONTINUED....
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