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| Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks Ayers |
Vicki and Brooks get a couples massage in Puerto Vallarta...
VICKI GUNVALSON - Ah, Mexico. Home of Lizzies.
BROOKS AYERS - So what's all this hoopla about David and Shannon? Sounds like he needs to give her the ol' Brooks Ayers Sensual Seduction Part 2.
VICKI GUNVALSON - I agree. A relationship can't survive without sex. **flops over to reveal her naked breasts**
BROOKS AYERS - Ain't that the truth, lil' lady. **also flops over to reveal his penis**
MASSAGE THERAPIST I - I guess I'll never be in a relationship, because I'm never having sex again.**dry heaves**
MASSAGE THERAPIST II - **starts to puke**
VICKI GUNVALSON - I guess they didn't listen when they were told not to drink the water.
At the Judge house...
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - I got you a gift.
EDDIE JUDGE - Danielle's husband on a Schwinn?
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - No. A robot baby.
EDDIE JUDGE - Sweet, something for me to kick at Ryan when he forgets to fold the towels.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - It's for practice. For when we have a baby.
EDDIE JUDGE - Oh Christ. We're still going with that storyline?
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Got any other suggestions?
EDDIE JUDGE - None that don't involve Joe Gregorio.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Hey, doesn't this baby look like Troy?
EDDIE JUDGE - It looks about like what I expected a baby of a 47-year-old woman to look like.
Shannon appears at the door of the Dubrow estate...
HEATHER DUBROW - Terry, look who's here! It's Shannon with a poem about how she's sorry she yelled at me at her house!
SHANNON BEADOR - That's... Not why I'm here.
HEATHER DUBROW - Apology crepes?
SHANNON BEADOR - No.
HEATHER DUBROW - Lo siento salad?
SHANNON BEADOR - No. I'm here to ask why you're spreading rumors about my marriage around Newport Beach.
HEATHER DUBROW - Because Tamra told me about it, and I don't like you. BYE.
SHANNON BEADOR - But -
HEATHER DUBROW - I said BYE.
SHANNON BEADOR - Fine. But I'm taking this with me. **grabs vodka soda**
TERRY DUBROW - Come back soon!
HEATHER DUBROW - Terry!
TERRY DUBROW - What?
Shannon invites an Essential Oil Lady to her house...
ESSENTIAL OIL LADY - Rub the essential oils over your fingertips, and then spread over your exposed breast tops. That's right. Reeaaaaaal slow.
SHANNON BEADOR - These essential oils remind me of when MRS. HEATHER DUBROW KICKED ME OUT OF HER HOUSE.
LIZZIE ROVSEK - You, like, know we're friends with Heather, too, right?
SHANNON BEADOR - Is that so? Does Heather invite you to feel essential oils?
LIZZIE ROVSEK - She sends Hermes bags directly to our homes.
DANIELLE GREGORIO - We didn't even have to show up at her house to get them.
SHANNON BEADOR - Well, did you know she also accused me of drinking too much?
DANIELLE GREGORIO - Every party we go to you end up locking yourself in the bathroom with a bottle of Cinnabon vodka.
SHANNON BEADOR - Oh yeah? Sounds like somebody could use some GAY HUSBAND oil!!!
DANIELLE GREGORIO - That didn't even make sense.
LIZZIE ROVSEK - Just smile and stuff the oil droppers in your underwear.
THE END.
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