Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, Episode 8 - "Not So Silent Night"

Tamra Judge and Ryan Vieth

Tamra takes her son Ryan to the doctor...

DR. LEE - Well, we got the results for Ryan's blood work.


DR. LEE - We found gravel, cones, and paint. All consistent with parking lots.

RYAN VIETH -. Fuck, bro.

DR. LEE - You're in danger of a coronary event, like the one your great-grandfather died from.

TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE  -  How do you know about that?

DR. LEE -  I read your blog. Huge fan.

At the Beador Christmas party...

SHANNON BEADOR - Welcome to the Buh-DORE Christmas party. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

TAMRA BARNEY - Can you take it down a notch? My jumpsuit splits at the slightest provocation. 

RANDO KID - Mrs. Beater, can I have a candy unicorn?

SHANNON BEADOR - It's Mrs. Buh-DORE. And yes, you may. **whispers** Stuff that unicorn up your asshole, you little shit.

JOE GREGORIO - Mmmmm, mac and cheeeethe.

DANIELLE GREGORIO - I swear to god, if your gay ass keeps me from getting a spot in the cast...

Out on the patio...

HEATHER DUBROW - Fabulous news. I've been offered a gig to cohost Good Day LA, and they want CUT Fitness as our first segment.

EDDIE JUDGE - Wow! Will Steve Edwards be there????

HEATHER DUBROW  - He's always there. He's the host. Why?

EDDIE JUDGE - Um, no reason.

HEATHER DUBROW  - What's wrong, Tamra? You look like your son just got an inner lip tattoo.

TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE  -  Nothing, it's just all the testosterone.

HEATHER DUBROW - I thought testosterone made you aggressive, but you seem rather calm -


EDDIE JUDGE - Ah, there's that T. If you can spare any, lemme know.

HEATHER DUBROW - Tamra, I have no control over which guests are chosen.

TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE  -  Really? Then why did Terry text me to say he told you not to do the segment?

TERRY DUBROW -  Oh shit.

HEATHER DUBROW  - Is that true, Terry?

TERRY DUBROW - Hey, did you guys know my brother was in Quiet Riot? Pretty cool, huh?

 Heather enters the living room...

LIZZIE ROVSEK - Oh Heather! We were all just talking about you.

HEATHER DUBROW  - Nothing bad, I hope.

LIZZIE ROVSEK - Actually, all bad.

DANIELLE GREGORIO - Fuck, this bitch just beat me out for the open cast spot.


SHANNON BEADOR - You told Tamra to "pick a side"?

HEATHER DUBROW  -What? Of course not. **to Tamra** You told her?!

TAMRA BARNEY - Sorry. It's the testosterone.

VICKI GUNVALSON -  Damn, it feels good to be a bystander.

HEATHER DUBROW  - **checks phone** Oh, look, my kid is dying.

TERRY DUBROW - Guess we better head out.

HEATHER DUBROW  - Can we get some candy unicorns for the road? No rush.


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