Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Real Housewives of New York City Recap, Episode 13 - "Win, Place, or Sonja"

 
George Teichner


At the Museum of Sex...

SONJA MORGAN - Two things to know about Cody. Don't call her a drug dealer, and don't say she has no parents.

RAMONA SINGER - Duh, what am I, an animal that I'd say those things to somebody?

DANA CODY -  Hi, I'm Cody.

RAMONA SINGER - So I hear you're "parent-free".

DANA CODY - **starts to cry**

RAMONA SINGER  - What, I thought that was the PC way to say it?

GEORGE TEICHNER - Did you upset my girlfriend?

RAMONA SINGER - I thought she was your fiancee.

GEORGE TEICHNER - Shit, I forgot about that ring bag I threw at her.

RAMONA SINGER - If Mario and I died, I wouldn't want lecherous old men preying on Avery.

AVIVA DRESCHER -  My father may be lecherous, but in what universe is 87 old?

GEORGE TEICHNER - I can't believe your lack of tact!

AVIVA DRESCHER - Yeah!

GEORGE TEICHNER - You know what happens to bitches? They get fucked by dogs!

AVIVA DRESCHER -  Yeah! Wait, what?

GEORGE TEICHNER -   At your funeral, I'll lick my finger and touch your vagina!

AVIVA DRESCHER - Oh no, Daddy. No.



  
At the horse races in Saratoga...

KRISTEN TAEKMAN - We won!

CAROLE RADZIWILL - 800 dollars means I can replace the bathrooms in my apartment with office space!

HEATHER THOMSON - **flips dollars in Sonja's face** Bet you haven't seen any of these in awhile!

COUNTESS LUANN - **looks around** Darlings, where did Sonja go?

HEATHER THOMSON  - Probably somewhere to be poor.

EVERYBODY -  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!




Back at Luann's rental, Sonja storms in the house...

SONJA MORGAN - Fuckin' dick mongers.

HEATHER THOMSON - Aw, somebody's mad cuz we left her in a strange place with no way to get home!

SONJA MORGAN - I had to ride on a jockey's bike pegs!

HEATHER THOMSON - Kristen, can you handle her?

KRISTEN TAEKMAN -  Of course. As you've seen from my dealings with my husband, I'm a calm and reasoned negotiator.

SONJA MORGAN -  I'm going to the Hamptons.

KRISTEN TAEKMAN - Fuck you, ya drunk fuck, always running off to fuck weird men!

COUNTESS LUANN - Artful work, Kristen.


To be continued...


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