Kristen Taekman and Ramona Singer |
After GlassGate...
RAMONA SINGER - Who are you to get me wet? Only one person can get me wet, and that's Mario when he makes me wear a Shakira mask.
KRISTEN TAEKMAN - I don't think I can ever forgive you for this, Ramona.
HEATHER THOMSON - Kristen, I invited fat Elvis here to write the lyrics to "In The Ghetto" on your vulva with his tongue.
KRISTEN TAEKMAN - Ramona, you're forgiven.
In the woods...
RAMONA SINGER - These... trees. This... mud. These... men with electronic field production cameras.
CAROLE RADZIWILL - Are you okay?
RAMONA SINGER - I'm having a flashback to my verbally abusive childhood.
CAROLE RADZIWILL - Weren't all childhoods verbally abusive in the 60s?
RAMONA SINGER - 80s, you bitch. You gotta get me out of here.
CAROLE RADZIWILL - Ok, maybe we can get you on a Greyhound bus -
RAMONA SINGER - I need you to drive me to the airport where my friend Adam will fly me to the Hamptons in his private jet.
CAROLE RADZIWILL - Whoa. Sounds like you had this all planned out.
RAMONA SINGER - Of course not. I'm just so traumatized. **flings herself on a bed and sobs**
CAROLE RADZIWILL -**looks at bed in the middle of the woods** And people say these shows are set up. Nice touch, Rob.
PRODUCER ROB - Thanks.
On a boat...
SONJA MORGAN - Hey, little boy. I've got Big League Chew and some comic books back in my van.
BOAT CAPTAIN - I'm twenty years old.
SONJA MORGAN - Oh yeah? Maybe this is more age appropriate. **shakes droopy ass fat in his face**
BOAT CAPTAIN - That would really appeal to me if I was bulimic and my finger was paralyzed.
SONJA MORGAN - Damn. I'm losing my touch. **passes out topless**
In Great Barrington, MA...
HEATHER THOMSON - Isn't this just like Telluride if Telluride was gross?
COUNTESS LUANN - Hey, look what my friend just texted me. A picture of Ramona at Molly Sims' party!
CAROLE RADZIWILL - Molly Sims is still a person?
COUNTESS LUANN - Believe it or not.
SONJA MORGAN - How could Ramona go to the Hamptons and leave me in this sweltering bumblefuck? No offense, Heather.
COUNTESS LUANN - Darling, your friendship is about as real as Carole's bisexuality.
To be continued...
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