Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The Real Housewives of New York City Recap, Episode 10 - "Bon Voyage Ramona"

Kristen Taekman and Ramona Singer

 After GlassGate...

RAMONA SINGER -  Who are you to get me wet? Only one person can get me wet, and that's Mario when he makes me wear a Shakira mask.

KRISTEN TAEKMAN - I don't think I can ever forgive you for this, Ramona.

HEATHER THOMSON  - Kristen, I invited fat Elvis here to write the lyrics to "In The Ghetto" on your vulva with his tongue.

KRISTEN TAEKMAN -  Ramona, you're forgiven.


In the woods...

RAMONA SINGER -   These... trees. This... mud. These... men with electronic field production cameras.

CAROLE RADZIWILL - Are you okay?

RAMONA SINGER -  I'm having a flashback to my verbally abusive childhood.

CAROLE RADZIWILL - Weren't all childhoods verbally abusive in the 60s?

RAMONA SINGER -  80s, you bitch. You gotta get me out of here.

CAROLE RADZIWILL - Ok, maybe we can get you on a Greyhound bus -

RAMONA SINGER -  I need you to drive me to the airport where my friend Adam will fly me to the Hamptons in his private jet.

CAROLE RADZIWILL - Whoa. Sounds like you had this all planned out.

RAMONA SINGER -  Of course not. I'm just so traumatized. **flings herself on a bed and sobs**

CAROLE RADZIWILL -**looks at bed in the middle of the woods** And people say these shows are set up. Nice touch, Rob.


On a boat...

SONJA MORGAN - Hey, little boy. I've got Big League Chew and some comic books back in my van.

BOAT CAPTAIN - I'm twenty years old.

SONJA MORGAN - Oh yeah? Maybe this is more age appropriate. **shakes droopy ass fat in his face**

BOAT CAPTAIN - That would really appeal to me if I was bulimic and my finger was paralyzed.

SONJA MORGAN - Damn. I'm losing my touch. **passes out topless**

In Great Barrington, MA...

HEATHER THOMSON - Isn't this just like Telluride if Telluride was gross?

COUNTESS LUANN - Hey, look what my friend just texted me. A picture of Ramona at Molly Sims' party!

CAROLE RADZIWILL  - Molly Sims is still a person?

COUNTESS LUANN - Believe it or not.

SONJA MORGAN - How could Ramona go to the Hamptons and leave me in this sweltering bumblefuck? No offense, Heather.

COUNTESS LUANN  - Darling, your friendship is about as real as Carole's bisexuality.

To be continued...


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