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| Free Agents. |
In Uruguay...
TJ LAVIN - Hey, guys. Today you're going to be blah blah blah everybody tunes out during this part anyway and then crossing to the other side.
JONNA MANNION - What if you have the upper-arm strength of a salmon?
TJ LAVIN - Then prepare to get a flesh-eating bacteria from the still waters that run beneath. Johnny and Camila, pick your teams.
CAMILA NAKAGAWA - **an hour later, Camila has last pick** I'll take Swift. He's slightly less gay than Preston.
TJ LAVIN - And that leaves the yellow team to be saddled with Preston.
PRESTON-ROBERSON CHARLES - Come the fuck on! Jonna said she has the upper-arm strength of a salmon!
JOHNNY BANANAS - Yeah, but she's, like, a hot salmon. Sorry, dude. **purple team wins**
At the selection ceremony...
ZACH NICHOLS - I vote Laurel.
LAUREL STUCKEY - Look me in the eye.
ZACH NICHOLS - I'd rather not. The last time I made eye contact with something that resembles a squirrel I got a mild form of rabies.
JORDAN WISELEY - I vote Bananas. Time to earn your stripes, bro.
JOHNNY BANANAS - Ex-fucking-cuse me? I've been on reality television since before you were malformed in the womb!
JORDAN WISELEY - Oh, a hand joke? How original.
JOHNNY BANANAS - The only original thing you've done is fail at three challenges in a row. Not even Preston has done that.
PRESTON-ROBERSON CHARLES - He's got a point.
Devyn approaches Laurel about Theresa...
DEVYN SIMONE - Theresa may have voted for Tiny Naughty School Girl, but she asked us all to vote for you.
TJ LAVIN - Oh yeah? Well, she's going to have to answer to ME.
DEVYN SIMONE - I like that you and Jordan have somehow convinced yourselves that you're HBICs this season. It's cute, really.
At The Draw, Jasmine pulls kill card....
JASMINE REYNAUD - Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
LAUREL STUCKEY -**rubs Jasmine's back** There there. It's going to be alright.
JASMINE REYNAUD - Is this like when a mother cat lets the runt have one last suckle before eating it alive?
LAUREL STUCKEY - Hmmmm. I suppose it is. **handles Jasmine like an infant, wins**
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Isaac pulls the kill card...
JORDAN WISELEY - C'mon, Isaac. Don't make me feel like I put on a leather jacket for nothing.
ISAAC STOUT - It's all good. We had a dodge ball league at my synagogue. **does a horrible job**
JORDAN WISELEY - Angle it and rub it sideways, Isaac!
ISAAC STOUT - Huh?
JORDAN WISELEY - Just some Oklahoma talk to inspire you.
JOHNNY BANANAS - This is easier than Jonna. **wins, yells up at Jordan** How do you like them stripes?
JORDAN WISELEY - Try going up against someone who isn't a Cro-Magnan, and then we'll talk.
JOHNNY BANANAS - You may be missing a hand, but you'll wish you were missing two hands when I cut off your head, or something.
JORDAN WISELEY - That was a very poorly-formed threat.
JOHNNY BANANAS - I've had better, I'll admit.
THE END.
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