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| Andi Dorfman and Chris Harrison. |
Andie gets comfortable in her new crib...
SISTER DORFMAN - Andie?
ANDI DORFMAN - Who the fuck...
SISTER DORFMAN - It's me, your sister?
ANDI DORFMAN - Oh, right. What are you doing here?
SISTER DORFMAN - ABC invited me to help represent "family."
**they sit in silence**
Montage of Julia Louie Dreyfus running around in the ocean, followed by the limo exits...
CODY - **pushing limo** Heeeeeee. Hoooooo.
ANDI DORFMAN - Paul Walker has arisen from the dead and maintained his facial injuries.
CODY - Too soon, bro. Too soon.
BRETT - Hey, here's a lamp I stole from the hotel.
ANDI DORFMAN - You thought it was cool to bring a stolen item to someone who serves to protect the law?
BRETT - I don't give much thought to a lot of things. **points to his mullet**
ERIC - Andie, I brought you these Peruvian dolls so you can remember me when I'm dead.
ANDI DORFMAN - Aw, you're not gonna die...
ERIC - My hobbies are sky diving, bungee jumping, and Four Loko.
ANDI DORFMAN - I'll take good care of these. **puts dolls in her pocket**
NICK S - **arrives in a golf cart** I'm in a golf cart! I'm in a golf cart! Look at me I'm in a motherfuckin' golf cart! **keeps driving past Andie**
Outside the mansion...
CHRIS BUKOWSKI - I've got to get in. I've got to see Andie.
SECURITY GUARD - You think cuz you're a white guy in a suit you can get in anywhere?
CHRIS BUKOWSKI - Duh, this is America.
PRODUCER - I've got to default to Chris Harrison on this one, to pretend he's more than a cue-card-reading bobble head.
CHRIS HARRISON - Polish Chris, I'm afraid you cannot go into the - can you move, dude? I can't see the card. Thanks - mansion. It will not end well.
CHRIS BUKOWSKI - Fine, but am I still eligible for... You know...
CHRIS HARRISON - Sure, we'll throw any cookies Marquel doesn't eat over the gate.
SECURITY GUARD - Can't guarantee I won't get to 'em first, though.
At the rose ceremony...
ANDI DORFMAN - And second black guy, I guess you can stay.
CHRIS HARRISON - Gentlemen, this is the final rose. If you are not chosen, feel free to meet me on Sunset later for an old fashioned Gunt Hunt.
ANDI DORFMAN -Bye, Attorney Rudie.
RUDIE - You are guilty. Guilty of being a BITCH.
SECURITY GUARD - Whoa, whoa, take it easy. **escorts him out**
ANDI DORFMAN - Girl from the Coppertone bottle, #bitchbye.
JASON - But I'm a doctor.
ANDI DORFMAN - So you've made very clear, every chance you got.
MIKE - What about me? Do I get to be called a famous cool little girl?
ANDI DORFMAN - I'm sorry to say you're not even worth that.
JOSH B - I can't believe I missed two days of my telemarketing job just to be humiliated and embarrassed.
ANDI DORFMAN - You're not gonna, like, cry - oh shit, he's crying.
JOSH B - My parents will be more ashamed than the day I told them I accepted a telemarketing position.
ANDI DORFMAN - You're dripping on my rhinestones.
SECURITY GUARD - Let's go, buddy. **escorts him out**
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