The Challenge: Free Agents Recap, Episode 2 - "Love in the Fast Lane"

Dustin Zito and Jessica McClain

 In Uruguay...

TJ LAVIN - Let's all take a moment to memorialize Chet and Jemmye.

LEROY GARRETT -  Can we not? I ate a burrito earlier and the thought of Chet's chin will send me over the edge.

JOHNNY BANANAS -  I ate a burrito earlier and the thought of Jemmye will send me over the edge.

HURRICANE NIA MOORE - What's up with all these nasty Ford Focuses?

TJ LAVIN  - They're Saturns, who also happen to be our sponsors.

DEVYN SIMONE - I don't know how to drive stick.

FRANK - I do. Wink wink nudge nudge.

TJ LAVIN  - If you don't know how to drive stick, kindly get out of America.

PRESTON ROBERSON-CHALRES - I am pro walkable communities. And we're not even in America.

TJ LAVIN - Ok, liberal pussy. We'll see how well you do in this challenge. Oh look! Picked last again.

PRESTON ROBERSON-CHALRES - **does really well in challenge**

Back at the house...

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - Costumes? Why y'all wearin' costumes? In rural Georgia we dress right when competing on reality shows!

JASMINE REYNAUD - Costumes allow you to dress up like a total slut and no other girl can say anything else about it. **dances on table in sexy student costume**

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - What is Dustin, even?

DUSTIN ZITO - I'm a thug 4 lyfe! **Swift, Brandon and Leroy glare at him** Er, I'm a white guy dressed as a white rapper.

At the club...

LAUREL STUCKEY - I don't care if you only have one hand. You could get it.

JORDAN WISELEY -  By "get it" do you mean kiss your cheek for a really long time?

LAUREL STUCKEY - Aw yeah.

EMILEE FITZPATRICK - **watches Dustin and Jessica kiss** Will you look at that? I'm getting passed over for Jessica. 

CT TAMBURELLO -  Bitch, you old and still work at Hooters.

CAMILA NAKAGAWA - BUT HER EYESHADOW IS NICE! FUCK YOU, CT, YOU GONNA DIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!

NANY GONZALEZ - Who interrupted my make-out session with a tree nymph with all this yelling?

CAMILA NAKAGAWA - FUCK YOU, TOO, NANY, YOU GONNA DIIIIIEEEEE!!!!

NANY GONZALEZ - **kicks while Dustin holds her back** I was trying to help you!

CAMILA NAKAGAWA - HELP ME BY KILLING YOURSELF!

CT TAMBURELLO - **taking it all in** Lol. Being 47 and still on the Challenges has its benefits.

At the selection meeting...

TJ LAVIN  - Cohutta and Laurel, please make your selection.

LAUREL STUCKEY - Jonna. She's the only girl here hotter than me.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF  - I support Laurel.

LAUREL STUCKEY -  And Dustin. Because of Frat Pad.

DUSTIN ZITO -  Let it go, people!

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF  - I support Laurel.

TJ LAVIN - A real strong masculine type, huh?

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF  - You know it.

Frank pulls kill card for the punching-holes-in-walls challenge... 

FRANK SWEENEY - Ok, MTV, I know you're still pissed about the Grantland interview, but this is more fucked up than Amber and Gary's relationship.

DUSTIN ZITO - Please win. Emilee hides under my covers, in my closet, and even next to the toilet. I'm scared.

FRANK SWEENEY - Fine. **wins** Hey, um, can you give me the number of the social chair from Frat Pad?

DUSTIN ZITO - He's dead. 

  
Emilee pulls kill card...

EMILEE FITZPATRICK - Hooters did not prepare me for this.

JONNA MANNON - Pushing bitches out the way so I could fuck their boyfriends sure did!**wins** Bye, Felicia!

EMILEE FITZPATRICK - Who's Felicia?

JONNA MANNON - - Laurel, I'm coming for you.

LAUREL STUCKEY - I'm real scared, homeless.


THE END.