Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Real World: ExPlosion Recap, Episode 10 - "Burned to Ashes"


In the kitchen...

JAY - I'm so cool, I'm a flirt-o-holic!

JAMIE - **listens to voicemail on house phone**   Hi Jamie, it's me. Call me back. **approaches Jay** Jay, a GIRL left a message for you.

JAY - That's not possible. I only give women a private burner number. I'd never give them the household number.

JENNA - Waaaaaa.

JAMIE Look what you did, you little jerk.

JAY -  Look what you did!!! Spend less time getting involved in our relationship and more time researching gauge removal procedures. 

JAMIE - I believe in LOVE!

JAY - You also seem to heavily believe in Svedka.

JAMIE - You got me there.

Thomas's twin Stephen arrives...

THOMAS - Hey, less-attractive twin!

STEPHEN - Hey, more-attractive-but-still-kind-of-weird-looking-without-hair-obscuring-his-features twin!

CORY - Look at you two. It's like you never left the womb.

THOMAS - Hey, it's dark in here!

STEPHEN - Hahahahahahaha! 

CORY - Aw. I'd give anything to be a chromosome that split into 47 chromosomes.

THOMAS -  I'm not sure that's how it works.

CORY - So much for dermatology.

Jenny and Brian talk in the bedroom...

JENNY - I'm going out with Trashley tonight.

BRIAN - But I invested my heart within you.

JENNY - Someone invested his heart within Lauren, and she had to go back to Michigan.

ASHLEY - Hay gurl haaaaay! Ready to go to Vessel?

BRIAN - I'm the only vessel Jenny needs. A vessel of understanding and compassion.

ASHLEY - Who the eff is this guy?

JENNY -  Oh, the producers asked our exes to come live with us and now we all sleep in one room like we're in West Virginia or something.

ASHLEY - Excuse me?

JENNY -  Er, Tennessee?

ASHLEY - Better. 

Thomas talks with Hailey...

THOMAS - Stephen and I think you should leave.

HAILEY - People haven't had to leave the Real World for slapping since Denver.

STEPHEN - Well, this isn't Denver.
THOMAS - Thank God. Lol, listen to me! I'm such a San Fran local now.

HAILEY - Why does Stephen even get a say?

STEPHEN - I support Thomas physically in everything he does, even including sexual things.

JAMIE - It's true. Let's just say I'm worn out.

HAILEY - Fine, I'll go. **goes to producer room** Excuse me, producer? I'd like to leave.

PRODUCER - I really think it's best for ratings if you stay. I meant, best for YOU if you stay. Yeah.

HAILEY - Nah, I'm ready. I miss Dallas and Neiman Marcus. Or at least standing outside Neiman Marcus with my face pressed against the glass.

PRODUCER - Fine, but this means you can never ever ever be on the Challenge.  

HAILEY - Believe it or not, that's a loss I think I can withstand. 

 Jenna and Jay go on their first date...

JENNA - This is so romantic. Me, and you, outside of a house together.

JAY - What can I say? I'm the Sam to your Ronnie.

JENNA - Maybe we could get ice cream after this?

JAY - Let's not go overboard.

JENNA - I guess I'll take what I can get, as a good-looking young woman dating a tan Keebler Elf.  

JAY -  I have a question for you. After two years of not having sex with anybody else and attending funerals of families members as a couple... will you be my girlfriend?

JENNA - I don't think so. PSYCH! Of course I'll go out with you.

JAY -  Oh you! You're just the funniest.

The End.

No comments:

Post a Comment

web statistics
Wall Street Journal