The gang takes in the sites of Frisco...
JAY - Hey guys, let's pose for an OG photograph over Lombard Street!
BRIAN - Can I be in the photograph?
THOMAS - No. This photograph is only for the penis-havers among six people picked to live in a house and have their lives taped.
CORY - You're practically, like, subhuman.
BRIAN - But Cory... I figured out a career path for you! In twelve years you could be a dermatologist!
CORY - Man, blackheads give me the willies.
BRIAN - Fine. I'll just go hang from the scaffolding on a construction site. .
THOMAS - **Snickering** What a loser!
CORY - People who arrive late on reality shows are such dorks.
Jenny and Hailey color with markers...
JENNY - You seem as though you've been through a great deal of pain.
HAILEY - You can tell that?
JENNY - It's the bangs.
HAILEY - I was raised by my godparents. It led me to become a compulsive virginity thief.
JENNY - I'm sorry, but that sounds awesome.
HAILEY - I mean, it is.
JAMIE - I don't want to get involved, but... you need to email the producers and demand to see the video of Jay and then confront Jay about the video and then when he tries to smooth things over be like I don't think so buddy and then wear leggings all the time.
JENNA - Ok. **writes an email**
dear tracy, you seem kewl so will u let me see the video of jay? he is my sorta bf and i want to make sure he is B-ing treuthfull to me. Thnx.
JAMIE - Sheer poetry.
JENNA - I must say, Jay, I'm a little upset with you.
JAY - Why? What'd I do?
JENNA - There's a video on the computer of you kissing someone named Sloane.
JAY - Oh yeah. I'm sorry about that.
JENNA - It's ok. The part that makes me only a little more angry is that you and she were emailing back and forth.
JAY - Oh, right. I'm sorry about that, too.
JENNA - It's ok.
JAMIE - You go, girl.
At the club...
HAILEY - **dances on Thomas** Pop pop pop!
THOMAS - **accepts Hailey's booty advances** Whooooo!
JAMIE - **pulls Thomas away** That's not okay! I am your girlfriend! You are my boyfriend!
THOMAS - For someone with gauges, you sure like rules.
JAMIE - Tell her that you want her to leave.
THOMAS - Now? I was hoping I could save that for when I'm blacked out later.
JAMIE -Ugh, fine.
HAILEY - **somersaults in a blanket** Jamie's whore, Jamie's a whore....
THOMAS - Leave! Nobody wants you here!
HAILEY - The producers want me here!
THOMAS - I EARNED the right to make future employment prospects dim! You did NOT!
HAILEY - Hey, genius, you wouldn't have been selected to be on this show if you didn't have an ex-girlfriend willing to move in!
THOMAS - **to producer** Is that true?
PRODUCER - Yeah, dude.
THOMAS - Well, still. We want all of you to leave. Even Brian!
BRIAN - That's very hurtful, Thomas. **washes dish calmly**
CORY - What did you fucking say?
BRIAN - Just that I'm trying to be mature in the face of a confusing and unique situation.
THOMAS - Aw HALE naw! **they step to him while he calmly washes dishes**
HAILEY - Leave Brian alone! We're the Exes, and we protect each other until the end! **slaps Thomas**
SECURITY GUARD - Um, please don't do that kind of stuff. If it happens again, I'm going to have to stand on the fringe of the skirmish and watch it with my arms crossed.
She's baaaaaack...
ASHLEY - Knock knock. Anybody home?
**To be continued**
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