Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Real World: Ex-Plosion Recap, Episode 6 - "First Love Fools"

Lauren and Cory

At Dolores Park...

THOMAS - I hate labels.

JAMIE - That explains why you always use generic tissue.

THOMAS - Jamie, I don't want to be a couple anymore. A man with my particular butt curvature needs to be free.

JAMIE - How convenient that you feel this way right after Hailey arrives.

THOMAS - How convenient that you suggested we be boyfriend and girlfriend after I'd done seven Rumchata shots.

JAMIE - Well, I'm gonna go out tonight in a hot black dress, and then go home and put on size 27 basketball shorts.

THOMAS - Wow. You really know how to make a man want it.

JAMIE - Yep. **tugs on her gaping gauge hole**

After beer pong at a bar, Jenny goes outside...

JENNY - America! Fuck yeah!

BRIAN - Stop experiencing the atmosphere while acting inappropriately strangely and what not.

JENNY - This is San Francisco. As we speak, there is a naked woman across the street squatting over a man in a wheelchair and sharting in his mouth.

BRIAN - You're like the bus back in Los Angeles. Everybody's had a ride.

JENNY - Nobody rides the bus in Los Angeles.

BRIAN - The indignant that have experienced much inequality do.

JENNY - But you said everybody.

BRIAN - You know what I'm trying to say.

JENNY - I never know what you're trying to say.

JAY - I think he's calling you a slut.

JENNY - Not cool. **dances with a knife**

Tom and Jamie sit on the couch...

THOMAS - I changed my mind.

JAMIE - I told you. There's no comparison to Kleenex®.

THOMAS - No, about us being GF BF.

JAMIE - Great news! Ok.

THOMAS - Just like that? No attempt to maintain your pride and dignity?

JAMIE - Nah. I'm already on The Real World.


After Lauren takes a pregnancy test...

LAUREN - Remember when we fucked in the shower with pizza?

CORY - How could I forget? I still have pepperoni stuck in my vas deferens.

LAUREN - Well, I've been feeling fat and nauseous...

CORY - That's just called Being From Michigan.

LAUREN -  No, Cory. I'm pregnant.

CORY - My dreams of being on the next iteration of The Challenge are flashing before my eyes.

LAUREN - You and your messed up priorities. Like that time you had cornrows.

CORY - So does this mean you're going to stop wearing half-shirts?

LAUREN -  Oh god. I hadn't even thought of that.

To be continued...

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