Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap, Episode 16 - "Turning Down The Crown"

The Wiccan Store.

Yolanda meets Carlton at the Wiccan store...

CARLTON GEBBIA - Thanks for joining me. I want to share with you how important my faith is to me, and let you know that I could probably kill you in your sleep if you ever cross me.

YOLANDA FOSTER - Uh, you're welcome. What are all these candles for?

WICCAN CANDLE LADY - It's like the Secret. Carlton here has imagined razor-sharp cheekbones and eyebrows you couldn't find on a map.

CARLTON GEBBIA - And here I am.

YOLANDA FOSTER -  Hmmm... I might light a candle and think of gaining five pounds without fear of my husband leaving me.

CARLTON GEBBIA - Yolanda, think of, like, real things. That could actually happen.

Kyle visits Joyce's house...

KYLE RICHARDS - I think Carlton's been putting spells on people again.

JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Oh god. I don't think our master toilet can handle another spell on my husband.

KYLE RICHARDS - This time, it's on me. My computer turned all blue, and it said "If this is the first time you've seen this error screen, restart your computer."


KYLE RICHARDS - Please, Jewish Jesus, protect us all.

Yolanda and Mohamed hold a going-away party for Gigi...

YOLANDA FOSTER - What are we having for dinner?

MOHAMED HADID - Baked mermaid. I wasn't pleased with their performance at my last party.

GIGI HADID - Everybody, may I have your attention? Before I leave this life of privilege and embark on a similar life of privilege but on another coast, I'd like to honor my parents.

YOLANDA FOSTER - Oh, honey. You don't have to. **twists her pinky back** Talk about my work ethic.

GIGI HADID - My parents came from nothing, but with some hard work, one now doesn't work at all, and the other bangs girls my age.

KYLE RICHARDS - That's so beautiful. I hope my daughter will mention my stint on ER before leaving for college.


KYLE RICHARDS - Oh. He he, it was nothing. Me and George were just really close, telling secrets and what not. I was offered a role in Good Night and Good Luck, but it coincided with my childbearing schedule. Family's number one.

CARLTON GEBBIA - Cool story, bro.

Kyle approaches Brandi...

KYLE RICHARDS - Can you give this ring to Carlton for me? Her "Cool story, bro" really rocked me to the core.

BRANDI GLANVILLE - I guessth. **walks over to Carlton** Hey, Carlton. Kyle wantths me to give you thisth.

CARLTON GEBBIA - What the fuck?

BRANDI GLANVILLE - She sayth it mashes the necklath.

LISA VANDERPUMP - Weird. The necklace was blue and this is gold. Kind of odd.

Brandi runts to tell Kyle about Lisa...


KYLE RICHARDS - That deceptively classy saboteur!

BRANDI GLANVILLE - Yep. That'th what I said.

KYLE RICHARDS - Lisa, did you say the ring I gave Carlton didn't match the necklace?

LISA VANDERPUMP - I may have. Is that a big deal?

KYLE RICHARDS - Is that a big deal?!??!?

YOLANDA FOSTER -  Ladies, please. Tonight is about my daughter and the start of her quest to find her own Giles Bensimon.

BRANDI GLANVILLE - She started it. **points at Lisa**

YOLANDA FOSTER - I know. She ALWAYS started it.


To be continued...

1 comment:

  1. Kyle's calculated ridicule of Carlton and her attempt to throw Lisa under the bus the bus. In my opinion, it's her way of trying to mask the problems at home with her husband! she cries out on Twitter and on the show that this is my family leave my family alone? Has she ever thought once that Carlton has children that go to school, and that by comparing Carlton to a serial killer like Richard Ramirez tragically torment those children and that's cool setting? Kyle didn't care about anyone elses family Being hurt in the public eye! Kyle converted to her religion? Yet I have never seen someone promote so much hate! You would think that in the religion she converted to she would have learned something about how much hatred, Bigotry, Stupidity, Callous and cold cruelty can destroy good people! Everything Kyle does is calculated and planned out there's no innocence there At all! Its so sad to watch her constantly pic and trash at Carltons faith While acting naive and innocent when she's promoting hatred! People who follow a Wiccan faith are being attacked online because of this! She has opened the ugliest door ever And her reason for doing it is to hide the fact that her husband would rather have sex with a transexual then too come home to her every night! I just cannot believe a person of Kyle's faith can promote such bigotry! She's a sad ugly hateful soul! Allison Dubois was Destroyed because of her appearance on that show? Yes it was an unfortunate and ugly night! But in my opinion every single thing that came out of Allison's mouth was right in the way of kyles husband will never fulfill Kyle! Think about it she has thrown A cast member under the bus every single season starting with Season number one when she threw her own sister under the bus in front of America! She's a disgusting and ugly human being I would never have anything to do with somebody that hell bent on trashing another's faith and character while putting another family at risk! Simply to try to disguise the fact that her husband would rather spend time with a ladyboy than an old lady!


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