Thursday, February 27, 2014

Real World: Ex-Plosion Recap, Episode 7 - "The Test"


Doug shows up with flowers for Jenny...

DOUG - Jenny! I'm so thrilled to see you again. 

JENNY - Oh, hey... you! 

DOUG - I brought you some garlic and bananas.

JENNY - Thanks?

DOUG - You said they were your favorite foods, remember?

JENNY - Oh! Of course.

DOUG - And look! Hot cocoa I made with my feet!

JENNY -  ???

DOUG - You said you love doing that, remember?

JENNY -  Uh, totes!

DOUG - I'll treasure our conversation forever. I'll never forget anything from that night.

JENNY -  Right. How could you ever forget things from that night, like **cough** somebody's name?

DOUG - I thought to myself, Doug, you need to get your booty over there and take her out to dinner!

JENNY - Doug! Doug, right, it's Doug.

DOUG - So whadya say?

JENNY - I mean, I've already had sex with two people in this city within the past four weeks.

LAUREN - **enters** You know what would really suck? If the first guy made you pregnant and the second guy thought it was his.

DOUG - Ok, I'll see myself out now.

JENNY - Thanks for the garlic!

Cory realizes the baby in Lauren's uterus is not his...

CORY - You've got some nerve, sleeping with somebody else when we're not in a relationship, or even in the same time zone.

LAUREN - I didn't realize you could get pregnant using condoms.

CORY - You used a condom?

LAUREN - Well, no. But I also didn't realize you could get pregnant using Plan B.

CORY -You used the morning after pill?

LAUREN - Well, not until five mornings after.

CORY - Wow, you are NOT good at not getting pregnant.

LAUREN - But I'm good at other things.  Look at Hailey's hair.

CORY - Aren't those extensions from Walgreens?

LAUREN - Well, yes. But I bought them. Two for one when combined with a triple pack of Clear Blue Easy.

Arielle has some friends over...

ARIELLE - Hey, LGBT friends, emphasis on the T! Welcome to my house. And also, people on the internet confused me with you and I want to vomit.

BRIAN - Arielle, people are who they are when they emerge from the womb. It's as natural as the wind.


BRIAN - I saw it on an episode of Katie.

 At the club...

LAUREN - I may be pregnant, but I can still wear a deep V and sulkily watch Cory from the corner.

HAILEY - You go, girl.

CORY - **to a rando girl** So then I'm like, yeah, I fucked Jenny, but I'm a dude! It's different cuz when we impregnate people, we move to Sarasota!

RANDO GIRL -  So true! You are very interesting.

CORY - Thank you. May I rub my penis against your jeans?

LAUREN - What's going on here?!?!

CORY - What's the problem?

LAUREN - You and I are in a relationship and I'm pregnant is what's the problem here!

CORY - It's not even mine!

LAUREN - Well, when you put it THAT way...

Lauren packs her bags...

LAUREN - Well, everybody, I'm off to Michigan. Off to be with my friends and family who really care about me.

JENNA - Aw. It's good to be around family to get love and support for you and your baby.

LAUREN -  Hahaha, "baby". Girl, I'm going to abort this fucker so hard my body will revert to prepubescence. But I'll need a ride home from the clinic.

JENNA - Ok, that too.

Before Boys Night Out...

JENNY - I promise, as a heterosexual, not to get with anybody at the lesbian club tonight.

BRIAN - And I promise, as a heterosexual, not to get with anybody at the gay club tonight.

JENNY - But you're not going to a gay clu -

JAY - Time to get some digits, brohams!

BRIAN -   Gotta go bye! **makes out with a Filipina chemical engineer**

JENNY - But brownies! BROWNIES!!!!!

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