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| The Gebbia Orgy |
Kyle and Joyce arrive at Carlton's orgy...
KYLE RICHARDS - **spotting nude dancers** Oh, my! My delicate sensibilities.
MAURICIO UMANSKY - Honey, you left the dildo we use for pegging in the car. Here. **hands it to her**
KYLE RICHARDS - Oh. Um, thanks.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Well, I am totally cool with nudity and pole dancing. I'm just a libertine.
MICHAEL OHOVEN - A libertine who practices her smile before walking in to Trader Joe's.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Shhh.
CARLTON GEBBIA - **greets guests** Oh, hello. Isn't this marvelous? I love the floppy-breasted female form on display!
DAVID GEBBIA - Hey baby. **kisses Carlton on the cheek**
CARLTON GEBBIA - Don't touch me, you filthy beast. **flicks her tongue through fingers at pole dancer**
Later on, in the hallway...
LISA VANDERPUMP - How's your hand, darling?
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Broken.
LISA VANDERPUMP - Oh no, that's awful.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU OVERBEARING HAG!
KYLE RICHARDS - **approaches Carlton** Hey, is that a Jewish star on your back?
CARLTON GEBBIA - How dare you affiliate me with those nasty money-grubbing- **sees camera** - lovely people. I've always said they run Hollywood because they're just so bloody business-minded.
MAURICIO UMANSKY - Uh, we're going to head out. All of this prurience is just a little much for us.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Is that a strap-on in your pocket or are you just happy to see my sagging wrinkly flesh?
KYLE RICHARDS - Here. **gives Carlton her necklace** Don't tell anyone.
Kim greets fans at a sad convention...
HELLO LARRY FAN - I’m the biggest Hello, Larry fan. I’ve masturbated to every episode. Sometimes to you, sometimes to Larry...
KIM RICHARDS - Ew, gross! **whispers in his ear** Meet me at Starbucks at 3:15, and you can tell me all about it.
JIMMY MCNICHOL - **chomping on gum** Hey, Kim! Remember this? **grabs her ass** RAWR!
KIM RICHARDS - How could I ever forget? Kristy McNichol! It's been so long!
JIMMY MCNICHOL - No, it's Jimmy, her brother. But I'm not surprised she grabbed your ass, knowing what we know now.
KIM RICHARDS - Yep. Big Lez.
JIMMY MCNICHOL - So, how's life? Did you have the same drug-addicted twenties that stopped being charming well into your forties that I did?
KIM RICHARDS - Me? Only alcohol, Jimmy. Just say no.
JIMMY MCNICHOL - Well, what do you say about letting me grab that ass again? For old time's sake.
KIM RICHARDS - Ew, gross! **whispers in his ear** Meet me at Starbucks at 3:45.
Lisa calls Yolanda before her gathering...
LISA VANDERPUMP - I can't make it, darling. I'm very busy and finger painting for your adult daughter ranks low on the list.
YOLANDA FOSTER - But you're scheduled to be here in three minutes. I find this to be very rude.
LISA VANDERPUMP - Look up rude in the dictionary and then talk to the Canadian Tenors about eating our dinner scraps in the kitchen.
YOLANDA FOSTER - But I made lemonade! I made lemonaaaaaade!!!!!
The ladies paint at Yo's gathering...
YOLANDA FOSTER - Gigi, who I suspect will be married to Gilles Bensimon before the end of the calendar year, is going to love this mural that you ladies she's only met once have prepared for her.
CARLTON GEBBIA - So, does Kyle talk shit on me or what?
YOLANDA FOSTER - Honey, we haven't even had the lemonade yet!
CARLTON GEBBIA - I feel like she talks shit on me.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Never heard it.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Nope.
YOLANDA FOSTER - Me neither.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Well, perhaps I'll whip out one of my spells.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - A spell??!?!?!
CARLTON GEBBIA - Don't worry. It will only be the kind of spell that renders its subject comatose or dead.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - You listen here. Spells don't work on people who believe in the one and only true God and his son who died for our sins on this earth and beyond in the pocket of His truth that lies above us all in the kingdom of this life and the next.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Are you done?
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Yes.
THE END.
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