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| Kim Richard and son Chad. |
Kim Skypes with the dog trainer...
DOG TRAINER - Don't worry. I've been taking good care of Kingsley when I'm not kicking him in the face.
KIM RICHARDS - **starts to cry** Ok. If he starts nuzzling near your chest, it means he's ready to suckle from your breast.
CHAD, KIM'S SON - Mom, I know you can handle this. It's just like rehab, except now you're taking pills instead of drinking alcohol.
KIM RICHARDS - Thanks, Chad. My instinct is to never listen to a man with earrings in both ears, but something tells me you're right.
CHAD, KIM'S SON - Now let's go drive race cars at dangerous speed. It's EXTRA fun when you're on pills.
Carlton tries on bathing suits for her husband and mother-in-law...
CARLTON GEBBIA - How does this suit look? It's made of the flag of the country I feel superior to.
DAVID GEBBIA - Fine, but I'm suddenly craving cottage cheese.
GLORIA GEBBIA, DAVID'S MOM - Maybe you could find one that's not so revealing?
CARLTON GEBBIA - Ugh, you Americans are so prude! **rubs her bum on Gloria's vagina**
GLORIA GEBBIA - I don't think it's prudishness as much as a visceral disgust when exposed to leathery, wrinkly flesh.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Mother, dear, you know the only time I'm covered in head-to-toe fabric is when I'm being constrained in the sex dungeon.
GLORIA GEBBIA - I do know, but I wish more than anything that I did not.
Yolanda and David eat at Nobu...
YOLANDA FOSTER - Happy anniversary, my love. I took extra pains to cover my skin imperfections today, just for you.
DAVID FOSTER - Happy anniversary. Except there's a little bit of redness on the right side of your chin. It's affecting my appetite, to be perfectly honest.
WAITRESS - Hello, welcome to Nobu Malibu.
DAVID FOSTER - I would feel welcome if you weren't out of the salmon rolls tonight.
WAITRESS - That's... not really my fault.
DAVID FOSTER - Kill yourself. So, Yo, what gifts have you brought to bestow on me?
YOLANDA FOSTER - It's a book of nude pictures.
DAVID FOSTER - Of who?
YOLANDA FOSTER - Of me.
DAVID FOSTER - Oh. **flips through book** Eh.
Lisa holds a dinner at Sur...
LISA VANDERPUMP - Please enjoy your meal here at Sur. Feel free to make complex orders to confuse the idiot cast of Vanderpump Rules.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Thank you, Lisa. I appreciate your graciousness in the presence of a raging racist alcoholic.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Hey, don't talk about Mohamed that way.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - I'm talking about you, STUPID!
BRANDI GLANVILLE - YOU are the STUPID!
MICHAEL OHOVEN - You're from the Planet Trash!
YOLANDA FOSTER - So you've gone from producing the Oscar-winning movie Capote to shouting at drunks on Bravo. You must be so proud.
MICHAEL OHOVEN - Anything to keep my Latoya Jackson-looking wife happy.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Aw. My baby.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - BRING IT BITCH!
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Wait, we're still fighting?
BRANDI GLANVILLE - I guess. I don't really know what else to do.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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