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| Kim Richards. |
Kim pretends to rush around before Kimberly's graduation party...
KIM RICHARDS - Finally, I get a segment of me planning a party!
PARTY PLANNER - I mean, I'm the one really doing the planning, sooo...
KIM RICHARDS - I've been too fucked up to order people around, but now I'm sober, and ready to treat an underling like shit!
PARTY PLANNER - Oh god... Am I the underling?
KIM RICHARDS - What's that lei doing there? Pick it up! Who made the hay on the tiki hut too close together? SEPARATE THE HAY!
PARTY PLANNER - **offers her a flask** Want to drink this?
KIM RICHARDS - No! I am a fancy lady now, like the Countess!
PARTY PLANNER - **offers her white powder** Want to snort this?
KIM RICHARDS - No! Who let that horrid dog loose? Send it to sleepaway camp!
PARTY PLANNER - **offers her small vial** Want to inject this?
KIM RICHARDS - Um... Ok. **injects, conks out, party is stupid**
Carlton shows up drunk to the pole dancing lesson with Brandi...
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Christ. Now I see why sober people hate being around me at a dinner party.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Nothing's sexier than a British person acting out the British idea of what sexy is. Cheerio! **swings on pole**
POLE DANCING INSTRUCTOR - When I opened this studio, I envisioned steel wrapped in taut skin that hasn't yet been rendered extra-crispy by the cruel sun.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Whaaaaaooooo! **spread legs**
POLE DANCING INSTRUCTOR - If you have a dream, kids, ignore it and become a dental hygienist.
At Kim's party, Brandi and Carlton eat Fatburger...
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Who'd a thunk we'd be desperately trying to eat off our drunkenness on KIM RICHARDS' steps, of all people.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Eat off? I'm just getting started. **to bartender** Sir, gimme all your liquor!
BARTENDER - All I got is a few beer-
CARLTON GEBBIA - SOLD! Except I better not really have to pay for it. **chugs while picking her Fuck Off shorts out of her camel toe**
BRANDI GLANVILLE - I think I'm gonna be sick...
KIM RICHARDS - Want some soda water? **to her ex, Kimberly's dad** Nobody told me being smug would feel so good.
KIMBERLY'S DAD - I wish I would have told you, so you wouldn't have ignored our daughter during her formative years.
KIM RICHARDS - That was uncalled for, Ken.
KIMBERLY'S DAD - Who's Ken?
KIM RICHARDS - Shuddup.
Kim confronts Lisa and Ken at their house...
KIM RICHARDS -When you RSVP-ed no, I didn't think you'd actually not show up.
LISA VANDERPUMP - The fact that we'd rather be in Missouri than your Oriental Trading Co. luau speaks volumes.
KIM RICHARDS - Missouri, eh? Take out the Mi and the I, and you got where you really were last weekend!
KEN VANDERPUMP - Sour?
KIM RICHARDS - Sur! My hairdresser saw you!
LISA VANDERPUMP - Wait, you have a hairdresser? I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you'd be better off at Great Clips.
KEN VANDERPUMP - It doesn't really matter where we were because we told you we weren't coming from the get go.
KIM RICHARDS - Sure, Tiffany boxes are nice, but what Kimberly really needed was to see the people she only meets up with once a year for a television show.
KEN VANDERPUMP - You've certainly missed out on a few engagements yourself, Kim.
KIM RICHARDS - Uncalled for, Ken! The rule is that you excuse any behavior performed under the cloud of addiction! That even counts for molestation and murder!
KEN VANDERPUMP - Shit-stained pillow. **walks away**
KIM RICHARDS - HEY! I didn't get waxed today to be treated like this!
Joyce confronts Brandi at Lisa's house...
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - I deserve an apology.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Sorry not sorry.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - How mature.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - This is who I am! It's what I do!
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - So who you are is an immature, racist bully.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - I'll give you 1 and 3, but not 2. My best friend is black. And a bad swimmer.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Joyce, you've got to stop with the labels. I love S and M and look like I'm from the 90s, but does that make me an S and M lover who looks like she's from the 90s? Get it?
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - No.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - I'm sorry for calling you Jacqueline.
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - And I'm sorry for labeling you, and wearing those flowers on my head at Kimberly's graduation party. **goes in for hug**
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Yeah, no.
THE END.
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