 |
| Throwin' hunneds, hunneds. |
Vicki and Brooks go out to dinner...
VICKI GUNVALSON - Lauri's daughter's friend who is a prostitute said you've been throwin' hunneds in exchange for hand jobs.
BROOKS AYERS - That's ridiculous. Everyone knows I don't have hunneds.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Phew. That's exactly what I said.
BROOKS AYERS - But once Vicki's Vodka launches, I will. Er, I meant, YOU will.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Brooks, Brianna -
BROOKS AYERS - **under his breath** That bitch.
VICKI GUNVALSON - What?
BROOKS AYERS - That, uh, sitch. The situation with a husband so far away. Heartbreaking.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Yes. It's hard. But the good news is that Brianna is spending the night in 29 Palms. So... The house will be empty.
BROOKS AYERS - **phone rings** Hold on, gotta take this. "Hello? Yes, so nice to hear from you, Lauri's daughter's friend who is a prostitute. Breakfast? Stack of ones? It's a date!" **hangs up** I apologize.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Who was that?
VICKI GUNVALSON - State of Mississippi trying to collect on child support. Ugh, the government, am I right?
LYDIA MCLAUGHLIN - I'm so glad you all could come to this emergency meeting. I had the hardest week of jetsetting, recreation, and free booze.
LIFE GROUP MEMBER I - I had a hard week, too. I saved twelve victims of sexual trafficking.
LIFE GROUP MEMBER II - I saved eight lives as a nurse. Three were really cute infants.
LYDIA MCLAUGHLIN - I talked about threesomes on a beautiful mountain. And teabagging. It was the lord's will, I guess.
DOUG MCLAUGHLIN - Honey, why don't you have some cake? **Shoves it in her mouth**
Gretchen meets Alexis for coffee...
ALEXIS BELLINO - I'm so nervous to see you that I pounded an entire bottle of Hypnotiq in the parking lot. **burps**
GRETCHEN ROSSI - Let's make this quick. I have a very professional proposal song to record.
ALEXIS BELLINO - Oh yeah? I also need to make it quick.because I have a TV audition!! **to herself** Shit. WWJD, Lex, WWJD.
GRETCHEN ROSSI - Jesus would NOT try to one up his friends during a meeting set up to apologize for one upping his friends.
ALEXIS BELLINO - It actually stands for "What Would Jim Do." And Jim would accuse you of bullying, and then try to get you to pay for his coffee.
THE END.
No comments:
Post a Comment