| Jeff Hoffman is considering getting married. To a GIRL. |
At La Casa Babs...
AMANDA BERTONCINI - We need to talk. Jeff and I are getting married.
BABS, AMANDA'S MOM - So he proposed?!
AMANDA BERTONCINI - No. But when I went to lunch with his parents and admired his mom's ring, he didn't say anything.
BABS - Sounds like you've got the communication part of the relationship down pat.
AMANDA BERTONCINI - Don't be jealous, Ma.
BABS - Me, jealous of my own flesh and blood?
AMANDA BERTONCINI - Yeah. You'll still be living in this sad huge house while Jeff and I move to West Hollywood.
BABS - West Hollywood?
AMANDA BERTONCINI - That's where he wants to go. Or Chelsea.
BABS - I just think you should give it a year before making a firm commitment.
AMANDA BERTONCINI - Why? What could I possibly not know after six months? Hey, is that Chanel eyeshadow in Prelude? It's Jeff's favorite!!!
BABS - Oh yeah? How... nice. All I ask is that you wait one year. It took Katie Holmes four years before she realized it.
AMANDA BERTONCINI - Realized what?
**silence**
AMANDA BERTONCINI - - Nobody else knows the Jeff I know.
BABS - That's for sure.
Chanel goes on a date in Brooklyn with Nati...
BEST MAN NATI - So how does it feel to be the pathetic older sister still living at home while your much younger sister gets married?
CHANEL OMARI - My, aren't you charming?
BEST MAN NATI - Yes. Have I told you you look sexy? That's my signature.
CHANEL OMARI - Six times. I'm beginning to wonder if that's all you got in your arsenal.
BEST MAN NATI - Well, you also look sturdy enough to balance an infant while ironing my Affliction shirts. **winks**
CHANEL OMARI - You can't iron your own shirts from 2007?
BEST MAN NATI - Who has time after driving twenty minutes to watch bridesmaids try on dresses Nathan Lane wouldn't even wear in The Birdcage? I work hard enough.
CHANEL OMARI - **ignoring him** Good hummus.
BEST MAN NATI - Have I told you you look sexy?
Ashlee and Joey meet to talk out their differences...
JOEY LAUREN - Erica and Amanda told me you've been texting them.
ASHLEE WHITE - Duh, I always need a second opinion on which hairstyle will best disguise my cone head.
JOEY LAUREN - No, texting them about me.
ASHLEE WHITE - Oh. Right.
JOEY LAUREN - What did I ever do to you?
ASHLEE WHITE - Number one, you asked men about their penis size at speed dating. It's SPEED DATING! Show some RESPECT!
JOEY LAUREN - That's it?
ASHLEE WHITE - And B, you're from Freeport. You're, like, upper middle class!
JOEY LAUREN - Ok...
ASHLEE WHITE - Roman numeral four, Kissamint is STUPID.
JOEY LAUREN - So do all these things really make me a bad person?
ASHLEE WHITE - I ran it past my dad, and he says yes.
JOEY LAUREN - Well... **searching for a gentle insult because it's just too easy** ...you're funny looking.
ASHLEE WHITE - Oh yeah? FUCK YOU! I'm so mad I could... PAY FOR YOUR DRINK! **pays for drink, calls dad in parking lot**
THE END.
No comments:
Post a Comment