 |
| "Who do you think you are, some kind of WAR HERO??" |
Max and Nev skype with Anthony...
ANTHONY - I'm a veteran of the Iraq war.
MAX JOSEPH - Uh... Really?
ANTHONY - Yes, asshole. I didn't tell and nobody asked.
MAX JOSEPH- Wow, military gaydar is really shitty.
ANTHONY - ANYWAY, I got injured. Injured bad. **holds up purple heart**
NEV SCHULMAN - I thought only dead people got those.
ANTHONY - Well, I was dead. Inside.
MAX JOSEPH - Can you stick to the part about making a fool of yourself on the internet, please?
ANTHONY - Yeah, sorry.
After skyping, they meet in person...
ANTHONY - **shows Max and Neve computer screen** Here he is. The love of my life.
NEV SCHULMAN- Dude, you've been chatting with Chris Brown?!
ANTHONY - That's not Chris Brown. That's Marq, with a Q.
MAX JOSEPH - With a Q. Sure.
ANTHONY - I flew out to meet him in Mississippi, but he never showed. He was carjacked and then run over with the carjacked car.
NEV SCHULMAN - And you believe it?
ANTHONY - **shows Max and Neve computer screen** Of course.
MARQ: Bae, y would I lie 2 u?MAX JOSEPH - Then it must be true.
ANTHONY - Plus, there's photographic evidence **shows pic of bandaged hand**
NEV SCHULMAN - That person's hand is white!
ANTHONY - Huh. So it is. So it is.
Anthony, Nev and Max fly out to Jackson, MS to meet Marq, who is really Framel...
FRAMEL - Hi, I'm Framel. I am fat, gap-toothed, and flat-topped.
NEV SCHULMAN - The flat top's working for you, though.
FRAMEL - Thank you. I appreciate that.
ANTHONY - I can't even LOOK at you! You were supposed to be hot!
FRAMEL - How do you know I'm not hot if you won't even look at me?
ANTHONY - **looks up** Suspicion confirmed.
MAX JOSEPH - Ouch.
Nev and Max, wearing cowboy hats, sit down with Framel to get his side...
NEV SCHULMAN - So why did you to this?
FRAMEL - Well, when I was two, I became a fat person because I got injured. Injured bad.
NEV SCHULMAN - **turns to Anthony** Are you sure you two aren't meant to be?
ANTHONY - Positive. **They never speak again**
THE END
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