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| "Fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty." - Clever American Insult. |
At the studio...
ABBY LEE MILLER - The next culture we're going to appropriate is Arabs. Right down to the finger placements.
HOLLY, NIA'S MOM - Aren't those finger placements actually Indian?
ABBY LEE MILLER - Probably. Close enough.
CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - Well, Chloe will NOT be dancing in this number.
ABBY LEE MILLER - Since when do you have a horse in this race, Whitey?
CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - Oh, it's not about that. I don't give a shit about cultural appropriation.
ABBY LEE MILLER - I figured. I've seen your lawn jockey.
CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - It's about Chloe not being able to do a standing back tuck.
CHLOE - I can do it, Mom! Look! **attempts standing back tuck, breaks her neck**
ABBY LEE MILLER - Great. Now she's going to have to wear a head scarf for her solo.
Melissa approaches Abby about Maddie not getting a solo...
ABBY LEE MILLER - I dunno, I'd say one out of two people expelled from your vagina getting a solo isn't bad.
MELISSA, MADDIE'S MOM - Who, Mackenzie? We all know she doesn't count, Abby.
MACKENZIE - Mom, I'm standing right here. I can hear you.
MELISSA, MADDIE'S MOM - Oh. Shoo. **swats her away like a fly** Go on, git.
ABBY LEE MILLER - If Maddie wants a solo, she can come in here and ask me for a solo, like an adult.
MELISSA, MADDIE'S MOM - But she's... not an adult?
ABBY LEE MILLER - Says you.
Maddie approaches Abby to ask for a solo...
ABBY LEE MILLER - You think I give solos to people who sit in the car all day?
MADDIE - **starts to cry** My mom said she'd lock me me in the basement with a DVD of Ken Burn's Dust Bowl documentary playing on repeat if I didn't respect her wishes!
ABBY LEE MILLER - **also starts to cry** Shit. Who left an onion sitting around here? Onions have NO PLACE in a dance studio.
MADDIE - **puts her hand on Abby's shoulders** It's ok to cry sometimes, Miss Abby.
ABBY LEE MILLER - **jerks Maddie's hand away** I told you, it's an ONION!! No solo for you.
At the In10Sity competition in Virginia, at high noon...
CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - Well, looky here. If it isn't Studio Bleu, whose girls look like they could qualify for the AARP.
STUDIO BLEU MOM - Are you calling our kids old?
KELLY, BROOKE & PAIGE'S MOM - Like mother, like daughter.
STUDIO BLEU MOM - You fucking bitch!
**they rumble, one Studio Bleu mom is killed**
The competition gets underway...
ANNOUNCER - I'd just like to say a quick prayer for the Studio Bleu mother who was killed in the rumble earlier this afternoon. That is NOT what In10Sity is about. **silence** Ok, yes it is. First up is Mackenzie!
**Mackenzie gets on stage, but forgets her dance**
ABBY LEE MILLER - BOOOOOOO!
MELISSA, MACKENZIE'S MOM - BOOOOOOO!
ANNOUNCER - Well, that was...underwhelming. Next up is Studio Bleu. Hmmm... I could really go for a Cobb salad right now.
**Studio Bleu performs well in their group number**
ANNOUNCER - Nice. I liked how your legs did all that stuff, and what not. Finally, we have Abby Lee Studios with "Arabian Nights."
**Abby Lee dancers perform their Indian-themed routine, even though the theme is supposed to be Arabic**
ANNOUNCER - Fourth place, because of your blatant cultural appropriation.
ABBY LEE MILLER - Nice poncho, asshole.
ANNOUNCER - This was a gift!
In the rehearsal room...
ABBY LEE MILLER - Well, we would have gotten first place if it wasn't for Chloe's shit-tastic standing back tuck.
CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - The announcer already gave us the reason why we lost, and it wasn't that!
ABBY LEE MILLER - Oh yeah? You're ugly.
CHRISTI, CHLOE'S MOM - And you're fat. Fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty oink oink.
KELLY, BROOKE &PAIGE'S MOM - PLEASE STOP FIGHTING! It hurts my soul!
**stunned silence**
ABBY LEE MILLER - Really? Is that true?
KELLY, BROOKE & PAIGE'S MOM - JK. Carry on, fatty.
THE END.
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