 |
| This argument ends with a lesbian in a flower pot. |
Near some water in Turkey...
TJ LAVIN - Welcome back. Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving.
SARAH RICE - We're in Turkey. They don't celebrate Thanksgiving here.
TJ LAVIN - But it's called Turkey. I'm so confused.
SARAH RICE - Just take a deep breath, and tell us about our challenge for today.
TJ LAVIN - **inhales, blows it out** Ahhhh. That's better. Ok. Dudes, today you're going to dive for Pep-O-Mint Lifesavers.
SARAH RICE - That's perfect for JD, because he trains dolphins.
ALTON WILLIAMS - It's also good for Trishelle, because with any luck, she might die.
**the teams dive for lifesavers and drag inflatable rafts through sand**
TJ LAVIN - Team Las Vegas, much like Dustin Zito on Frat Pad, you are the last ones to swallow a giant load of ejaculate on camera.
DUSTIN ZITO - That analogy doesn't work. Like, at all.
TJ LAVIN - Shhh.
Back at the mansion, peeps fight about some nonsense...
NANY GONZALEZ - Blaaaaah!
DEREK CHAVEZ - Blaaaaaaaaaaah!
DUSTIN ZITO - BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
ROBB SCHREIBER - Damn. This argument is really heating up.
MARIE RODA - I know how to put a stop to this. **pushes Sam into a giant flower pot**
SAM MCGINN - Thanks for that, Marie. I now have a broken femur and a fallen faux hawk.
MARIE RODA - Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.
SAM MCGINN - None of the people fighting are even ON my team.
MARIE RODA - Shhh.
Frank shouts at Nany and Dustin from a balcony...
FRANK SWEENEY - Wherefore art thou Romeo? Oh, I know! Probably jabbing himself with a needle in a heroin den with Nany's sister!
NANY GONZALEZ - Romeo's been dead for a hundred years, you dick!
FRANK SWEENEY - Speaking of dicks, Dustin loves to eat those. Dab a little Sriracha on that shit, and gobble 'em right up.
DUSTIN ZITO - I will WORK. YOU. SON.
FRANK SWEENEY - Oh yeah? Why don't you both come up here and give it a shot? Except that might be too much physical activity for Nany. BECAUSE SHE'S FAT.
NANY GONZALEZ - Am not!
FRANK SWEENEY - Are to!
NANY GONZALEZ - Nuh uh!
FRANK SWEENEY - Yuh huh!
ZACH NICHOLS - **taps Frank on the shoulder** Frank, maybe you should just go to bed, call it a night.
FRANK SWEENEY - But this is so fun!
ZACH NICHOLS- Tomorrow's another day to yell insults at people from a balcony.
FRANK SWEENEY - I guess you're right.
Alton and Nany face Marie and Robb in the arena...
NANY GONZALEZ - I volunteer myself as tribute!
TJ LAVIN - We already determined you were going in before the commercial break.
NANY GONZALEZ - I've just always wanted to say that.
TJ LAVIN - Ok, Robb and Marie, see if you can throw balls harder than Alton and Nany, even though one of you has red hair.
ROBB SCHREIBER - It's strawberry blond.
**Nany and Alton lose to Robb and Marie**
ALTON WILLIAMS - Pshaw, I don't even care. I have soooo many good things waiting for me at home, like a cat and a stale bag of Doritos Late Night.
DUSTIN ZITO - **to Trishelle** That should have been you going home.
TRISHELLE CANNATELLA - You're a psycho!
DUSTIN ZITO - I may be a psycho, but I'm good at gay sex. Which is more than I can say for you.
TRISHELLE CANNATELLA - Um, ok.
To Be Continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment