Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Challenge - Battle of the Seasons, Episode 4 - "The Dark Knight"


We not in the NOLA, baby.





At the mansion...

KNIGHT - Move over, Carlos Mencia. There's a new funniest man alive.

JEMMYE - Does this mean you just let out one of your signature SBDs?

KNIGHT - Nope. Even more hilarious. I threw all of Nany's possessions in the pool!

JEMMYE - **Regains her hood sea legs** What da fuck you say now, white boy?

KNIGHT - Yep! Even her dead grandmother's love letters, which cannot withstand chlorine!

MCKENZIE - You are kind of the biggest dick ever.

KNIGHT  - But now you all respect me like you respected Wes. Right? Right?

PRESTON - Yeah, no.

KNIGHT - Fuck.



At a place with rocks...

TJ LAVIN - Teams, welcome to the rocks in a big basket challenge. Nany, why are you soaking wet?

NANY - Are you referring to my clothing, or what happened to me when I saw Dustin in a bathing cap?

TJ LAVIN - I am immediately sorry I asked. Ok - Ready, set, PUT ROCKS IN A BIG BASKET!

BIG EASY - **talkin' tough, as the teams load up his basket** Is that all you got? Bring it on, bitches!

DEVYN - **turned on** Oooh. You tell 'em, E.

BIG EASY - Keep putting your rocks in my big basket, assholes!

DEVYN - Uh huh. Oh yeah. That's right. **runs fingers excitedly through weave** 

BIG EASY - Keep it up, losers. I can stand here all da - **falls**

TJ LAVIN - Big Easy, despite your sad attempt at trash talking, you are the very first one to be eliminated.

DEVYN - It's ok, baby. It was only two minutes, but it's probably still a minute and forty seconds longer than my last boyfriend could stand up there.

BIG EASY - That makes me feel a little better. Thank you.

DEVYN - He was 67, by the way.

BIG EASY - Ok, nevermind.



On post-partying bus...

CAMILA - **drunkenly yells out random offensive things** PUSSIES!  BULLSHIT! FARTS!

KNIGHT - Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

CAMILA - Nobody in particular, to be quite honest.

KNIGHT  - **antagonizes Camila**

NANY - Hey! Stop antagonizing her!

KNIGHT - **starts antagonizing Nany**

DUSTIN -  Hey! Stop antagonizing her!

KNIGHT - Ok.

DUSTIN - Wait... aren't you going to start antagonizing me now?

KNIGHT - Nope. You're a dude, and I am afraid of dudes.

CHET - You, sir, are no Wes Bergmann. **tips his Chet hat**



At the arena...

TJ LAVIN - Bad news, kids. We're moving the arena competition to next week. MTV will only allow 10 minutes of drama per episode, because they seem determined to run this series into the ground. 

ZACH - How will I satisfy my blood lust until then?

TJ LAVIN - Maybe Jonna's on her period.

JONNA - That's disgusting. But, yes, I am.


THE END.


4 comments:

  1. I think you nailed this recap. I’m glad to finally see this season has picked up since it has been boring up to this point. I’m over Camilla, and want to see her go home, but I love Big Easy. I missed the past episode of “The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons,” because of my work schedule at DISH. I recorded the past episode and the after show on my Hopper since I can not watch these on line at work. There is a ton of DVR recording space so I’m set to record the rest of the season. I hope Big Easy makes it through to another challenge, as he is easily one of my favorites from the show.

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    1. Poor Big Easy. The perpetual underdog. I think about how tough Laurel was on him two seasons ago, and how he never really has an unkind word to say about anybody. Still, if I had been his teammate when he blew that final challenge, I have to admit that I'd probably hold a grudge.

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