Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Challenge: Batte of the Seasons, Episode 3 - "What Happens In Vegas..."

This is certainly not the first time Dustin Zito has been "tugged from so many different angles."

Sipping white wine on the veranda...

DEVYN - Who woulda thunk? A fat, lazy bubba and a gorgeous pageant princess, falling in love.

BIG EASY - Maybe there are some more, uh, positive words to describe me?

DEVYN - Hmmm.... slow?

BIG EASY - Eh....

DEVYN - Often tired?

BIG EASY - Better.  

DEVYN - Poor to mediocre at most tasks?

BIG EASY - Aw. That's so sweet! **they kiss**

Alton and Sarah rest after an invigorating yoga sesh...

ALTON - You're just like me, except white, blonde, hipster, competitive, hairy, tattooed, be-vagina'd, impulsive, from an entirely different area of the country, and white.

SARAH - Yep. Two peas in a pod.

**other Vegas peeps barge in**

NANY - Alton and Sarah, seen canoodling on the pool deck at The Challenge house. A tipster claims they were talking closely and smiling before heading to Mr. Chow's.

TRISHELLE  - See? Sarah is destroying our team!

SARAH - The only thing getting destroyed is dat foine ass. **pinches Alton's tushie**

ALTON - Tee hee.

TRISHELLE - Well, this means we have to vote Brooklyn into the Dome.

NANY -  Arena.

TRISHELLE - Same diff.

ALTON - I disagree. New Orleans is the most logical choice, and by "logical", I mean "allows me to keep on fuckin'."

DUSTIN - I'm being tugged from so many different angles, and it's tearing me apart. And that is NOT A PROMPT FOR ANYONE TO MAKE A FRAT PAD JOKE.

Brandon sees Camila worrying about the arena... 

BRANDON - You're gonna do great. I just know it.

CAMILA - Shut up, you FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!

BRANDON - But I want you to know that I think you're a great competitor, and you shouldn't ever worry.

CAMILA - Kill yourself, BITCH BUTT!!!

BRANDON - What did I say?  

CAMILA - It's not what you said, it's how you said it, TWAT SMACK!!!

BRANDON - I'm sorry, Camila. I didn't mean to upset you. 


BRANDON - Ok. Now you crossed the line. **smacks her rear-end**

At the arena, Chet and Sarah face Brandon and Cara Maria...

TJ LAVIN - **after Chet and Sarah tie and untie ropes fast**Sarah and Chet, you succeeded at tying and untying ropes fast.

CHET - It's what I do.

TJ LAVIN  - Sarah, return to your "virtual twin," who is nothing like you in any way. Chet, return to your hand.

CHET - Hello? I'm Mormon. We just quietly rub up against our blankets at night.

TJ LAVIN - Cara Maria and Brandon, back to the real world. Lowercase. Cuz you were not chosen to be on the actual show but were instead picked at random in an online contest.

BRANDON - Ever considered being a grief therapist?

TJ LAVIN - Many, many times.


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