Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Gallery Girls, Episode 7 - "Beginning To See The Light"

In Liz's world, partying is only acceptable if you're under the age of 12.

Liz invites the whole gang to "party" at Mokai...

MAGGIE SCHAFFER - Drinkin' and drinkin', YEAH!

RYAN, MAGGIE'S BOYFRIEND - Partyin', partyin', WHOO!

BOBBY, RYAN'S FRIEND - Throwing napkins on the ground and passing out in a standing position, DO IT!

LIZ MARGULIES - What the fuck are you guys doing?!?!

MAGGIE SCHAFFER - Drinking the bottles you got us and having fun.

LIZ MARGULIES - This is MIAMI. You're not supposed to actually drink and have fun, you're just supposed to PRETEND.

RYAN, MAGGIE'S BOYFRIEND - Well, that's stupid.

LIZ MARGULIES - You know what's stupid? Tattoos of the state of Louisiana on your hip.

MAGGIE SCHAFFER - Liz, it's going to be ok. Ryan will come back here tomorrow and give the waitress a ten dollar tip. He's out of cash right now.


BOBBY, RYAN'S FRIEND - **wakes up** YOU are. **burps, passes out again**

Amy "invests" in a pop-up gallery for End of Century...

AMY POLIAKOFF - So... what do you guys think???

CHANTAL CHADWICK - Is this structure being supported by one of those jumpy-things kids play in at block parties?


CHANTAL CHADWICK - Wow. You really got a bang for your two-thousand bucks.

AMY POLIAKOFF - Thank you. I'm trying to save money now that my dad is asking me to find a job that pays stuff. Such a dick.

ANGELA PHAM - Hey, listen - I'm gonna go to that Mr. Brainwash party and try to find some rich Colombians with Asian fetishes. Don't wait up.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON - But what about your photographs?

ANGELA PHAM - Just talk about "moroseness" a lot. Well, bye. **leaves**

**two full hours of silence as nobody comes to the EOC pop-up**

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON - **starts crying** Just another End of Century failure, just like those custom-decorated cardboard boxes we tried to sell to the homeless.

CHANTAL CHADWICK - Yep. And just another End of Century failure that I blame you for, even though I spent all day cuddling with Woody Allen over here.


AMY POLIAKOFF - Don't fight, guys. I'll take care of it, I promise. **hustles on the street, exchanges sexual favors for people to come and look at paintings**

STRANGER - **at pop-up, post sexual-favor** Nice, uh, art. **sneaks away**

Back in NYC, Claudia calls her mom while wearing a bun and smoking a cigarette, as one does...

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON - Hi, mom. It's me. Clow-dia.


CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON  - Clow-dia? Your daughter?

CLAUDIA'S MOM - Sorry, not ringing a bell.


CLAUDIA'S MOM - Oh, hi! How are things at End of Century?

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON  - Shitty. We're broke, and Chantal's moth-ball smell is inhibiting foot traffic.

CLAUDIA'S MOM - Well, there's an easy solution for that. Meet some investment bankers in their thirties.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON  - Oh, sure. Patrick Bateman types are real sweet on floppy-hatted fauxhemians from Williamsburg.

CLAUDIA'S MOM - Maybe your new friend Patrick can buy that vagina-themed sculpture you've been looking to sell.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON  - Sure, mom. Thanks for the advice.

CLAUDIA'S MOM - That's what I'm here for.

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