Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Gallery Girls, Episode 6 - "Who Loves The Sun"

Work is for squares.

Amy approaches Claudia after getting fired...

AMY POLIAKOFF - Well, I got fired from my unpaid internship. So I figure the time is right to fuck up one of YOUR business ventures, free of charge!


AMY POLIAKOFF - You guys are going to set up a "pop-up" venue at Art Basel Miami, selling your seven-dollar necklaces and Sucklord-branded toilet paper to vagrants on their way to the methadone clinic.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON - And how will you be involved?

AMY POLIAKOFF - I'll pretend to recognize you if we run into each other in Coral Gables, and I'll take 75% of the profit.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON - Let me discuss it with my bushy-browed business partner.

At End of Century...

CHANTAL CHADWICK - Let me get this straight... you want to actually DO WORK THINGS in Miami?!?!

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON - Wasn't that why we planned to go to Art Basel? To network, make some contacts?

CHANTAL CHADWICK - The only contact I had planned to make was my ass cheek to one of those 5 dollar see-through towels from Walgreens with a dolphin on it. Or maybe the outline of the state of Florida.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ REARDON - We are broke. Ok? We have no money. We can't afford to relax.

CHANTAL CHADWICK - Why don't you have some more Adderall? Because only someone with ADHD would worry about having no money. Fuckin' freak.

At Liz's dad's warehouse in Miami...

LIZ MARGULIES - Oh, hey, Angela. Thanks for coming and bringing your two weird friends who were not invited.

ANGELA PHAM - You're welcome. 

CHANTAL CHADWICK - Liz, I'll have you know that it took all the strength I could muster to change out of my floor-length mesh beach cover-up into a floor-length mesh non-beach cover-up to come here!

LIZ MARGULIES - Nice floppy hats.


LIZ MARGULIES - For hipsters, I'm quite surprised that you keep failing to grasp my biting sarcasm.

ANGELA PHAM - Wait... were you being sarcastic just then?


CHANTAL CHADWICK - This is more confusing than wolf tongues.

At Eli Klein's apartment, after everybody has gone home...

AMY POLIAKOFF - **drunk off her ass** Remember that one time?


AMY POLIAKOFF - That time you took me out to dinner. You know the phrase... wined me, dined me, sixty -

ELI KLEIN - Oh, you mean that time you stumbled into my gallery after too many lychee martinis at the bar next door, locked yourself in the basement bathroom, and cried until you passed out?

AMY POLIAKOFF - That's not how I remember it...

ELI KLEIN - Amy, let's get something straight. If I'm going to take advantage of a young drunk girl, she's got to be somebody who wouldn't sleep with me sober.

AMY POLIAKOFF - I'm not following.

ELI KLEIN - Oh, look! It's my brother who looks exactly like me! **pushes his brother in front of Amy, sneaks away**

AMY POLIAKOFF - Don't be ashamed of what happened between us, Eli.

ELI KLEIN'S BROTHER - What? I'm not - eh, whatever. We'll go with it.

And last but not least, we catch up with Kerri Lisa...

**Crickets** **Crickets**


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