 |
| Is true love enough to kill for? |
Filippo hosts a lobster and steak dinner at his mansion...
FILIPPO - **seated next to Marie** Do I detect a bit of East Coast in your accent?
MARIE - If you consider Staten Island the East Coast. **belches**
FILIPPO - Hahaha, oh, you. I do, indeed, consider Staten Island the East Coast. Do you ever make it into the city? With a... boyfriend, perhaps?
MARIE - Me 'n my fuck buddy Donny sometimes hit up Gray's Papaya and throw hot dogs at the homeless for kicks. **farts**
FILIPPO - Just a, um, "fuck buddy", eh? Interesting. I'm also single. My girlfriend was overwhelmed by my luxurious lifestyle.
MARIE - Oh yeah? Listen here, Flipster. I'd jump up on that pogo stick anytime if you'd throw a shrimp dinner my way every now and then. **gives him a wet willie**
FILIPPO - **giggles** Marie! Are you ever the enchanting creature?!
MARIE - I don't know what that means, but I'll be whatever you want if it keeps that fire crotch away from me.
**they turn to see Robb ramming his head on the table**
Back at the house...
ROBB - I'm gonna rip Swift limb from limb!
MARIE - YEAH!
ROBB - Nobody tells Ginger Robb that love is blind! NOBODY!
MARIE - You show him, big boy!
ROBB - He can say that you're weird-looking, that you're drunk all the time, and that you smell like Remo the Seal after a bowl of boiled cabbage, but saying my judgement is skewed is where he CROSSES THE LINE!
MARIE - Wait... he said all that?
ROBB - Um... no?
MARIE - Seriously, kick his ass, Seabass.**farts**
ROBB - God, you're so sexy.
Robb confronts Swift...
ROBB - You mad, bro?
SWIFT - I'm not going to discuss this with you while you're under the influence of Senor Frog's.
ROBB - Ok, good point. **leaves**
Robb goes back to Marie...
MARIE - So, how'd it go? Is he dead?
ROBB - He said he'd rather have the discussion in the morning after he's gone to church and is wearing a tie.
MARIE - Oh, really, pussy? And you accepted that?
ROBB - Well, there's nothing wrong with waiting until cooler heads -
MARIE - I'm done fucking with these non-Staten Island types. Where I'm from, men are men, and literally murder people before the offending party has had a chance to tell their side of the story.
ROBB - I'll be whatever you want me to be, Marie.
MARIE - I want you to be somebody that kills Swift and buries his corpse under the aviary exhibit at Coral World.
ROBB - Done.
**to be continued...**
No comments:
Post a Comment