Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Real World St. Thomas Episode 8 - "Hurts So Good"

Robb thinks this is a person worth burning yourself with a cigarette over.

Down by the water...

ROBB - Your parents, like, took care of you. And I, like, took care of my parents.

MARIE - I met them on the first episode, remember? They're nice, normal people.

ROBB - Shhh. My archetype is "Troubled Dude."

BRANDON - **pops out of the bushes** I thought that was supposed to be me? **lifts shirt sleeve to show track marks**

ROBB - Nope. There's a new sheriff in town. **lifts shirt sleeve to show cigarette burns**

MARIE - Frankly, I think you're both fucked up. And speaking of "fucked", I'm gonna go find Filippo and his Rollie. **walks away**

At the lawn table...

ROBB - Why did I have to be born? And with red hair, no less? **punches himself in the face**

BRANDON - Hey, man, cut it out! You're hurting yourself!

ROBB - The physical pain masks the emotional pain.

BRANDON - That's a very self-aware, educated answer, which leads me to suspect you did research to find a storyline for the show.

ROBB - What? That's absurd!

BRANDON - Next thing we know, you're going to claim to be afraid of large boats.

ROBB - Wait... are you suggesting that because I have red hair and cut myself, that I'm trying to emulate Frankie from Real World San Diego?

BRANDON - That's exactly what I'm suggesting. I suspect you'll contract cystic fibrosis any minute.

ROBB - Wow. You got a lot of frickin' balls saying that to me. **stands up to walk away, but print-out of Frankie's Wikipedia page falls out of his pocket**

BRANDON - You forgot something.

ROBB - Damn it.

At Senor Frogs...

EMCEE - Before we begin the drinking contest, let's meet our contestants!  

LAURA - I'm Laura, and I'm from a shitty place!

MARIE - I'm Marie, and I'm from an even shittier place! 

EMCEE - Great! Ready, set... take several shots in rapid succession!

**they do**

EMCEE - And the winner is... Laura! Laura, is this the first thing you've ever won in your entire life? 

LAURA - Yes.  

EMCEE - I figured.

TREY - **materializing out of thin air** What the fuck is going on here?

EMCEE - You see, it's a drinking contest. The contestants take several shots in rapid -

TREY - I wasn't talking you you. I was talking to the ginger girl who's supposed to ask me for permission before she leaves the house, even though I have a pregnant girlfriend at home.

EMCEE - Really? Wow, dude, that's cold.

TREY - **punches Emcee out** Time to go home, Laura.

LAURA - But I won.

TREY - Being drunk in a bikini in the day time is not winning. **grabs her by the arm and leads her home**

ROBB - I wish Marie talked to me that way. **sobs**


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