 |
| Trey is the epitome of island style. |
Trey gets a phone call...
CHELSEA - I need to talk to you about something...
TREY - What's his name? WHAT'S HIS FUCKING NAME?
CHELSEA - I prefer Jaden. Tanner is cute, too.
TREY - Hey... those are not names adults have! I'm confused.
CHELSEA - Let me put it this way... We could be the older version of Catelynn and Tyler, if we so choose.
TREY - Well, why didn't you just say so? You know I only understand things when couched as metaphors from MTV reality shows.
CHELSEA - This means that makeshift ginger you've been effing is gonna have to hit the road.
TREY - She can't. We live on an island.
CHELSEA - UGH! What I meant was, you'll have to behave like Kenny Santucci when Sarah Rice is all up on his peener.
TREY - Ah, ok.
Trey reflectively sits by the beach in a chair, Brandon joins him...
BRANDON - Women. Am I right?
TREY - No... it's not like that.
BRANDON - So Chelsea's pregnant?
TREY - Whoa. Sober Brandon is amazingly intuitive!
BRANDON - I was actually hiding under the accent table during your phone call.
TREY - Oh.
In St. Croix...
MARIE - Being drunk is, like, the BEST FEELING. **downs an Irish car bomb**
ROBB - Fuck yeah, it is. **they sloppily make out**
BRANDON - Thanks, guys. Appreciate the support.
MARIE - Hey, man. Don't get all up on our balls because you made bad body art choices and need to self-medicate to forget about it. **burps in his face**
ROBB - Ha! Yeah. **farts in his general direction**
BEER ON TABLE - **seductively winks at Brandon** Hiya, Brando. Imagine my name is Alyssa and put me deeeeeep inside your mouth.
BRANDON - NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!
BEER ON TABLE - Leave you alone? Haven't you been alone enough, sexy vest man? **starts to caress his arm**
BRANDON - I'm in AA, you bitch! Don't you have some mutant pigs to entice?
BEER ON TABLE - They only drink O'Douls. But I'm 4.5 % alcohol, and ready to party. **puts hand down his pants**
The other roommates return from the parade to find Brandon yelling at a beer to stop putting its hand down his pants...
SWIFT - We gotta find a way to get this guy out of the house.
LATOYA - F'real.
THE END.
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