Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Real World St. Thomas, Episode 3 - "Roommates Become Bedmates"

What's grosser - the girl who pops a dude's back pimples, or the guy who sits and watches?

On the couch in the living room...

TREY - Sucks that we can't even go to Subway this season without taking a boat.

LAURA - I think I know a way to ease your pain.**starts to pop his back pimples**

TREY - While you're back there, pluck any hairs longer than two inches you find. Leave anything shorter.

LAURA - You got it, baby. **gets to work**

TREY - Awwwwww yeah. That's the ticket.  

LAURA - You like that? Mmmm hmmmm. Momma monkey's groomin' her baby. Alllllright. **they start to get hot and bothered** 

BRANDON - **reading a magazine on the couch right next to them** This is starting to make me feel strange. 

TREY - You probably should have gotten up as soon as the bacne poppin' started. It's kind of too late to say anything now. 


LAURA - **whispers to Trey** He is fucking nuts, you know that? 

TREY - Totally a weirdo. A lonely, freak weirdo. **hands her a mini-razor** My ear lobe whiskers could use a trim.

Getting off the boat after a night at Duffy's Love Shack...

MARIE - **drunkenly rolling around on boat, hits her mouth** Sweet. I had about four teeth too many in there, anyway.

ROBB - **emerges from the house** Hey, you're injured, too? Twinsies!

LATOYA - Since I'm the designated Greek chorus for the season, with no compelling storyline of my own, I feel it's my duty to ask what happened to your face.

ROBB - I rammed a telephone against my temple until it broke.

MARIE - Broken temple? Bitchin'. 

ROBB - No, broken phone. Looks like we'll be communicating with the mainland through telegram for the remainder of the season. 

SWIFT - As the other member of the Greek chorus, which I'm sure has nothing to do with the fact that I'm not white, I'd like to ask why the fuck you did that. 

ROBB - My girlfriend back home who I said was allowed to have sex with other people went and had sex with other people. 

BRANDON - That bitch. Well, Marie here might be able to ease your pain. 

MARIE - I'm not touching any back pimples. 

BRANDON - No, silly. With sex. 

MARIE - Oh. Ok. **Marie and Robb go to their bed to have sex** 

BRANDON - Guess I'll just sit on the foot of the bed here and read a magazine... 

ROBB - Please leave. 

BRANDON - Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.


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