Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Dance Moms Episode 6 - "How Do You Like Them Apples?"

If you fail in Ohio, you'll fail anywhere.

At rehearsal...

ABBY LEE MILLER - Maddie, you're at the top of the pyramid. Twice.

HOLLY, NIA'S MOM - If there are two points at the top, it's not really a pyramid then, is it?

ABBY LEE MILLER - Is that the kind of shit they teach in PhD school? Glad I dropped out of junior high.

At Candy Apples in Canton, Ohio...

CATHY NESBITT-STEIN - If we're going to beat Abby Lee in Akron this weekend, we gotta bring out the big guns.

KENDALL, JILL'S MOM - So you've hired Chris Judd to choreograph? 

CATHY NESBITT-STEIN - Close. I found two gay dudes off the street. They've got to be good at dancing, right?  

KENDALL, JILL'S MOM - Isn't that a stereotype? 

CATHY NESBITT-STEIN - Pshaw. You probably think staging an Asian-themed dance with a giant gong prop is stereotypical, too. Amateur.


At the Nexium Galactic Planetary competition in Akron, Ohio...

ANNOUNCER - Paige to the stage, who will be performing a routine her mother choreographed for her. Jesus, people, I know we're in Akron, but at least pretend to not make a complete joke out of our little competition, ok?  

**Paige performs, wins seventh place** 

KELLY, PAIGE'S MOM - Seventh place! WOOT! 

ABBY LEE MILLER - You know what's worth than a parent hijacking my routine? A parent that says "Woot" non-ironically. 

ANNOUNCER - Next up, Candy Apples will perform an incredibly offensive routine that might even be worse than "Call Me Laquifah." Then, Abby Lee will introduce us to some girls in white dresses who might be in their 30s. And probably ill-suited to be wearing white. 

ABBY LEE MILLER - This announcer has a lot to say, doesn't he? 

ANNOUNCER - I heard that.


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