Thursday, July 5, 2012

Real World: St. Thomas, Episode 2 - "99 Problems But The Beach Ain't One"

I get  a small penis vibe from Brando.

On a ferris wheel...

TREY - You know, I don't normally bang butch chicks, but for you, I might consider making an exception.

LAURA - That's the sweetest thing any man has ever said to me.

TREY  - I know. **they make out**

MARIE - **watching from above** Aw. Look at them. So in love after knowing each other 72 hours.

ROBB - 48.

MARIE - Really? It feels so much longer hanging out with you all the time.

ROBB  - Hell if I know. I'm fucked up. **hits himself in the face** Ow. Ow. Ow.

MARIE  - You're the most charming fire crotch I've ever met. Besides when my parents took me to watch the filming of The Parent Trap II. **they make out, despite Robb not knowing who or where he is**

At the Fat Turtle (aka the birthplace of Ramona Singer's "Turtle Time")...

BRANDON - **to rando** Hey, girl. I'm gonna fuck you on the couch just to show my roommates I'm more than loose gauges and angry diary entries.

RANDO - Huh?

BRANDON - Er, I mean, cuz you so fine. Girl.

RANDO - Thank you.

BRANDON  - Now let me encase you in this rubber band and grind from behind. My roomies are watching. **does** Crap! They were just looking af the Rihanna video playing on the wall! KILL KILL KILL!!!!!

RANDO - I'm.... gonna go to the bathroom. 

BRANDON - Fine, but just know that there are thousands of girls in this club that would have sex with me in full view of my roommates to prove to them that I'm awesome. THOUSANDS!

Back at the house...

MARIE - **wakes up to find jars of peanut butter in her bed** Jars of peanut butter in my bed!? I'll get you for this, Robb!

**Marie lobotomizes Robb in his sleep**

MARIE - I really got him good, huh?

ROBB - **drooling** Gurgle gurgle. 

LATOYA - Frankly, I don't notice much of a difference.


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