Friday, February 10, 2012

Jersey Shore Episode 6 - "The Follow Game"

Snooki finds a new receptacle for her urine.

The gang stumbles home from Karma and Vinny finds a girl to help release the ‘demons’ that were building up back in Staten Island…

- I’ve never been this drunk before!

MIKE- What about that time you blew me in LA?

- My on-screen guide at home said you would be a nice guy in this episode.

MIKE- I wanted this to be the episode with the big reveal- when the Unit finally tells Jionni- but he had to fly to Miami to go to a special clinic that untangles genital warts from pubic faux hawks.

SNOOKI- Hey, why aren’t Sammi and Ronnie in this entire episode?

J-WOWW- Apparently they’re too boring- even for this mid-season episode that doesn’t have any fights, only one incident of you drunkenly falling down and only two instances of casual sex.

DEENA- Make it three instances of casual sex! I’m really feelin' this lezbehonest over here.

PAULY D- Hey! Only I can call girls ‘lezbehonest’- just like a hairstyle from 2003, it's kind of my thing.

VINNY- Wow, I thought you were my wingwoman, Deena.

DEENA- Best wingman ever!

VINNY- You realize that means you can’t do sex with any of these woman? You have to keep them in line for me.

PAULY D- Those are the rules, Deena. Bros before lezbehonests.

VINNY- That doesn’t make sense. I’m just going to smush this straight girl instead. This is becoming incestuous.

SNOOKI- You know what else doesn’t make sense? Why is it always dark in Arkansas? Is this because President McClain put that tax on tanning beds?

J-WOWW- Do you know what makes perfect sense? Not going into work because you lost your phone. I guess he called in sick via carrier pigeon.

PAULY D- I think you got played. Roger doesn’t take shit from anyone, not even "emphatically."

J-WOWW- It's ok. Didn’t you hear? Hoboken turned down my spin-off with Snooki so we are forced to shoot it in Jersey City. Surely, I can find someone as equally as douchey to replace Roger there.

VINNY - Not even Bayonne would take you? Ouch.

PAULY D - My spinoff takes place in the halls in front of 50 Cents’ office. He says I'm the next deadmau5. Whatever the hell that means.

SNOOKI- So you have, like, a real job? Other than the Shore Store?

DEENA- Stupid Shore Store. Danny is such an annoying. He cops an attitude when we leave work to take shots at bars during our shifts.

SNOOKI- Super annoying. What kind of shenanigans can I pull of if I’m sober? You can only pee on the roof so many times.

VINNY- If I may interrupt, I believe staying sober is an important part of being a successful person. I should know. I almost took the LSATs.

PAULY D- Yeah, and he almost ruined a lesbian in the smush room tonight.

VINNY- I’m a natural transition for a lesbian. I’m nice, somewhat feminine and I have an 11 inch cock. Just like most lesbians.

DEENA - That's not true about lesbians! We have - er, I meant, they have, um... stuff. Damn it.


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