Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Real World San Diego Episode 12 - "An End to the Endless Summer" and "The Shit They Should Have Shown"

Best Buddies.

At the Amtrak Station...  

FRANK - So, um, bye.

ZACH - Bye. Good luck with keeping your asshole clean.

FRANK -  Is that some kind of homophobic remark?!? See, I knew you'd never change!

ZACH - I was talking about your unique way of removing fecal matter after defecating.

FRANK - Oh. Shit. Sorry.

ASHLEY - Bye, Frank.

FRANK  - Bye, Barbie, but not as cute. **turns to Sam** Sam, thank you for teaching me how to be gay.

SAM - Anytime. Look at the rainbow flag cowboy boot sticker and think of me, ok?

FRANK -  Ok. **turns to Nate** So... This is the end of Frate.

NATE - See this face? It's extra-red right now, and betrays the sadness and loneliness in my heart I so long to hide.

FRANK - Don't hide it, Donkey Dick. Don't hide it.

NATE - Best friends.

FRANK  - Yeah. Best friends.

**Frank gets on train to Los Angeles to pursue an exciting career with the House of Blues. He leaves a trail of errant back hair behind him**

At the airport...

NATE - And then there were three.

ASHLEY - And then there were three.

NATE  - That's what I just said.


NATE  - Nevermind. Well, my direct flight to Rolla, Missouri has arrived. It was nice not getting to know you two.

ZACH - Keep banging ugly chicks.

NATE - I will. That's all they have at the Missouri University of Science and Technology. **he boards his plane**

ASHLEY - So what happens now? With us?

ZACH - We write long, flowery letters doused with White Diamonds.

ASHLEY  - Or we could sext and email.

ZACH  - That works, too.

ASHLEY - I bought you a zany card. Read it on the plane, ok?

ZACH  - **boards the plane, begins to read the card**  
"You asked what I liked about you.
I don't like you." 

What the FUCK?! She doesn't like me? That bitch! After all I've done for her!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT - Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave the plane.

ZACH - But I'm not even Muslim.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT - You're too angry to fly.

ZACH - **holds up card** Look at this! Look at what she wrote!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT  - **turns over card** It says "I don't like you, I love you."

ZACH - Oh. I missed that part.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT - You still gotta get off, though.

ZACH - Crap.

Back at the house...

ALEXANDRA - Byron's here. Peace out, Oedipus.

PRISCILLA - The Oedipus Complex only applies to males. Nice try.

ALEXANDRA - Damn. You know Greek mythology?

PRISCILLA -  Only the sexy kind.

ALEXANDRA  - I'll miss your tits.

PRISCILLA  -  I'll miss your pointless songs about hotels and other stupid shit. **they break down crying and hugging**

BYRON - Uh, you guys know you only live a couple hours away from each other, right?

ALEXANDRA - Fuck off, Byron.

PRISCILLA - Yeah, fuck off.


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