Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Real World San Diego Episode 10 - "Camp Out, Drag Out, Sing Out"

"Livin' in a hotel, with mom and dad and stuff. Yeah yeah yeah." - photo -

At the gym...

FRANK - Damn it, Ashley, show yourself to us!

ASHLEY - I've showed myself a lot of times. At the beach, when we took a group shower, at the Maidenform fashion show when I was an alternate...

FRANK -  No, I mean the real you. What's going on inside.

ASHLEY - Today I ate Beef Wellington for breakfast. There's actually a whole lot going on inside...

FRANK - NO! Jesus Christ, I'm talking about FEELINGS!

ZACH - Sorry, couldn't help but overhear. **pauses to flex in mirror** Aw yeah. Ahem. Frank, I mean this in the kindest way possible, but have you ever considered that there's not really anything to know about Ashley?

ASHLEY - Yeah, have you?

ZACH - Ashley's a pretty simple gal. She wakes up, shits, eats her Beef Wellington, showers, works out, and shows her underwear to people.

ASHLEY - And I go to Subway.

ZACH  - And she goes to Subway. 

FRANK - So that's really it?

ZACH - That's it. She's about as deep as Alexandra's music.

FRANK - Well, I I just wish you two would spend more time with the group. If you'd just - hey? Where'd you guys go? **Zach and Ashley speed off in car** Again?!?  **starts to walk  home** 

At the House of Blues...

ALEXANDRA & THE HATS - "Let's start a war! Let's start a war! I live in a hotel! Where mom and dad don't talk anymore!"

PRISCILLA - **crying** It's just so... poignant!

SAM - Hey, if y'all want to see some real entertainment, come see my drag king persona Shawn Jade lip sync at the Front Butt next week.

NATE - Drag King? What's that all about?

SAM - I dress up like a 12-year-old Eminem impersonator with a limp.

NATE - So... It's just you being you.

SAM - Yes. But lip-synching.

NATE - Bangin'.

They go camping and to Cabo in the same day...

PRISCILLA - Wooooo! Hiking!

NATE - Dolphins!

ALEXANDRA - Parasailing!

SAM - Horses!

FRANK - Gays in the military!

PRISCILLA - Way to bring it down, Frank.

FRANK -  Sorry, there's something about soft candlelight and Coctel de Camarones that makes me want to start shit.

ZACH - Here we go...

FRANK  - First, you and Ashley go around not liking gays in the military. THEN, you hang out on a corner of a boat by yourselves!!!!

NATE - Damn. He went there.

ZACH - You know what? I didn't come on the Real World to make friends!

FRANK - You're only supposed to say that on competition-focused reality shows!

ZACH - My beautiful face needed national exposure. And I just happened to meet another beautiful face! So sue me!

FRANK - It's fine. I don't care anymore. Spend all your lives going on roller coasters with just the two of you.

ASHLEY - Only two people can fit in a roller coaster...

FRANK - Shuddup.

NATE -  Frank, let's have fun. Just the five of us. Let them do them.

FRANK  - You're right.

**They Crab Circle, while Zashley look at the stars on the beach**

FRANK  - Good times! 

SAM - See?  We don't need seven people to Crab Circle.

FRANK  - Yep. **relaxes, enjoys his friends' company**

**then, images of Zashley running to the top of a mountain without the group appear in Frank's head. While they run, they are eating a Subway Meatball Sub together from either end** 


The End.


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