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| Friday Night Reading Lights. photo - mtv.com |
At the Lesbian Highlighter Party...
NATE - Lesbians! Highlighters! WOOOO!
FRANK - Zach and Ashley don't know what they're missing!
ALEXANDRA - Well, it's literally called The Lesbian Highligher Party, so they probably know what they're missing.
FRANK - Shhhh. San Diego has the BEST gay scene in the United States!!!
GAY PASSERBY OVERHEARING - Huh?
SAM - He's from Vermont.
GAY PASSERBY - Ah.
HOT LESBIAN BRIT - **approaches Sam** Oh, you must be Lonnie's son!
SAM -No, I am a grown female.
BRIT - Good, cuz I was feeling that shit, and Lonnie would kill me. Plus, her son is a minor. **they make out**
MICHAEL, FRANK'S NEW FRIEND - I'll have what she's having.
FRANK - I don't get it.
MICHAEL - Nevermind.
FRANK - Hey, man, I don't know what kind of ideas you're getting, but I'm not gay. I'm bisexual.
MICHAEL - Haha. So you're still stuck in that "I'm bisexual" stage, huh?
FRANK - A stage? If it was a stage, could I do this? **touches a girl's boob, pukes**
MICHAEL - Let me just come to your home, just for an hour, and I'll have you sprinting out of the closet.
FRANK - Gee, I dunno, I - **Michael tickles Frank's taint** - OK, let's go!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Zach and Ashley read books...
ZACH - Reading Falconer is so much better than watching a man toss glitter on other men at a retarded parade.
ASHLEY - Are you at the part where he starts an affair with a fellow male prisoner yet?
ZACH - **takes his hand out from under the blanket** Wha? No. Not there yet. I, uh, didn't know it was that kind of book.
ASHLEY - I've gotta say, I was surprised you picked it out of the discount stack at the ol' B and N.
ZACH - What are you suggesting? That I like gay literature? HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
ASHLEY - No! I would never question you! You are my master! **hits herself in the head repeatedly** So stupid, Ash! So stupid!
ZACH - Yes. Stupid, stupid girl. Girls are stupid. **puts hand back under the blanket, then quickly takes it out** I meant, uh, I love pussy.
The next night at the house...
TREVOR AND TRAVIS - Hey, Nate! It's us, Trevor and Travis! The creators of the reversible watch with a message! **they embrace**
NATE - **points to gay mohawk man** And who might this be?
TREVOR AND TRAVIS - This is Trent. We picked him up off the street because he looks like someone who's probably considered suicide.
TRENT - Many, many times.
NATE - Well, I've got a lot of great ideas for the blog. Moms of dead kids can anonymously write about their dead kids! And -
TRENT - **interrupting** Hey, is that Apple Pucker?
TREVOR AND TRAVIS - It is! Tits. **Triple T takes a triple sip**
NATE - Trent, do you want to tell me more of your story? For the blog?
TRENT - I'm busy. **injects Apple Pucker into his veins**
On the balcony...
FRANK - Thank you so much for coaxing me out of the closet. How will I ever repay you?
MICHAEL - I can think of a few ways...
FRANK - Oh, you! So, um.... I know we've only been acquainted for three hours and I'm not entirely sure what your last name is (Jenkins?), but... I love you.
MICHAEL - **grabs a chunk o' chest hair** Aw. That's sweet. **they kiss**
ZACH - **walks in wearing a canary-colored headband** What the FUCK?!
FRANK - Hey man, how about some privacy?
ZACH - What in Sarah Palin's name are you even DOING?
MICHAEL - What, do you want me to describe it to you?
ZACH - Yes. I mean, no, GROSS! **just stands there**
FRANK - Why are you still standing there, watching?
ZACH - I'm not watching! Ew! **stands and watches**
ASHLEY - **enters** What the hell? Zach, are you, like, watching them do it?!
ZACH - No! Gotta go. **to Michael** Drive safe. **Runs off**
FRANK - He's really making progress.
THE END.
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