Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Bachelorette Episode 6

Bentley's "dragon boat" sinks whenever he thinks about Ashley. photo - abc.com

At Ashley's room at the Conrad Hong Kong... 

CHRIS HARRISON - Knock knock. Everybody decent?

ASHLEY HEBERT - No, actually, just got out of the shower -

CHRIS HARRISON - **enters anyway** Hey. Monogrammed towel? Nice.

ASHLEY HEBERT - Some privacy would be nice...

CHRIS HARRISON - Haha, that's funny. ABC owns you. Well, as soon as you can slap some makeup on those pockmarks and straighten that frizzy mop, go down to room 6969. Someone's waiting for you.




CHRIS HARRISON  - Not as dumb.


CHRIS HARRISON - Ew, no. What do you think, I have a death wish? It's Bentley.



ASHLEY HEBERT - French-Canadian thing.

CHRIS HARRISON - Remember, Room 6969. And don't forget to tell the camera guys when you head down there, because we need to film the fuck out of this shit.

At Room 6969... 

ASHLEY HEBERT  - **knocks familiar rhythm** Bum-Ba-Ba-Bum Bum... BUM BUM!

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - **opens door** Sup? I was just reading this Lonely Planet guide book - did you know there are 523 "massage parlors" in Hong Kong? That's 521 more than in Salt Lake City!

ASHLEY HEBERT - Nice to see you, too.

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - Oh, right. So great to see your mediocre face.

ASHLEY HEBERT - Mmmm... **she kisses him, his lips are pursed** So, why did you come here?

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - Duh, free trip to Hong Kong with all the fish balls I can eat, plus a day excursion to - Shit, I meant, to see you, silly!

ASHLEY HEBERT - But what about the "dot dot dot"...

BENTLEY WILLIAMS  - That's India, not China.

ASHLEY HEBERT - No, the punctuation.

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - Right! "Dot dot dot"... **whispers to self** Angel Moroni, please remind me what the hell she's talking about...

ASHLEY HEBERT - You said you'd rather end things with ellipses than a period.

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - A period puts an end to a lot of things, if you know what I'm saying!


BENTLEY WILLIAMS - Crap. Joseph Smith never would have said that.

ASHLEY HEBERT - You know what, Bentley? I'm slowly - and I mean, very, very slowly - starting to get the feeling that you're not here for the right reasons.

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - Whatever would give you that idea? I flew coach all the way from Utah to see you, and to see all the 523 "massage therapists" Hong Kong has to offer.

ASHLEY HEBERT  -  I don't know, something just doesn't... Feel right.

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - You know what doesn't feel right? When they put that hot oil on your tender bits. Yeouch!

ASHLEY HEBERT  - I think this is goodbye, Bentley.

BENTLEY WILLIAMS - Really?  Then will you tell the front desk to send up Changchang? She does this crazy thing with her wrists -

ASHLEY HEBERT - Yeah, I'll get right on that.


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