Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Real World Las Vegas Episode 4 - "Three Hookups and a Breakup"

Nany and Adam have a romantic lunch at a restaurant inside of a casino.

At a really competitive-like go cart track...

DUSTIN - Suck my dust, son. 

MIKE MIKE - That's what your Frat Pad roommate said.

DUSTIN - I'm talking about go carts, son.

ADAM - Oh look. I just won. At go carts.Woo hoo.

DUSTIN - But I've been practicing at go carts since I was weaned from my mother's breast at the tender age of 14.

ADAM - It's ok. It was just dumb luck. No biggie.

DUSTIN - It is a biggie.  To quote a "No Fear" shirt I still wear when I actually decide to wear a shirt, "Second Place is the First Loser."

HELPFUL GO CART TRACK EMPLOYEE - Hey Dustin! Here's a second place ribbon and a gift certificate to Claim Jumpers. Come back soon!

DUSTIN - FUCK YOU! **stabs helpful go cart employee in the chest**

MIKE MIKE - Way harsh, Dusty. Do you have to win all of the time?


MIKE MIKE - All you do is talk about yourself and how you're good at useless things like riding on an animal's back and stroking your friends' penises on camera.

DUSTIN - Really? Is that true?

HEATHER - It's true. While we were having sex you mentioned that Adam stayed on the bull longer than you three times.

DUSTIN - But bull riding is kind of relevant in that situation, if you think about it...

HELPFUL GO CART TRACK EMPLOYEE - Um, hello? I'm sort of, like, dying here. Because you stabbed me in the chest.

DUSTIN - This is really enlightening. Maybe I should see a therapist.

HELPFUL GO CART TRACK EMPLOYEE - Lil' help? Anybody? No? **dies**

ADAM - This dead dude lying on the ground is making me horny.

NANY - Me too.

LEROY - Me too.

NAOMI - Me too.

DUSTIN - Me three.

HEATHER - Eh, I could screw.

**they all have sex, while Mike reads the bible over the dead dude's corpse**

MIKE MIKE -  I love Vegas.

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