Sunday, February 20, 2011

Kim & Kourtney Take New York Episode 6 - "Diva Las Vegas"

Kim's ass turns 30.

SCOTT DISICK - I don't know if it's a good idea for me to be in Vegas...

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Why? We're just going to have dinner, take in some George Wallace, do keg stands, watch strippers do Ass-to-Ass, set fire to our room, and kill a toddler.

SCOTT DISICK - I can probably handle that.

KRIS JENNER - Promise you won't stuff a hundred dollar bill down a waiter's throat?

SCOTT DISICK - Promise. I don't carry hundreds anymore.

KRIS JENNER  - Wow. You've really changed.

SCOTT DISICK - Thank you.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - So should we wake Kim up? It's her birthday and stuff.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN - I'd rather we not. She kind of sucks.



KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Agreed. Let's send the concierge up to her room to scare her when she wakes up!

**they all go to Tao to party with Perez Hilton without Kim. Kim wakes up in her room by herself**

KIM KARDASHIAN - Where'd everybody go?


KIM KARDASHIAN - Who are you?

LASHAWN - The dude your friends called to get them a keg.

KIM KARDASHIAN - Oh. Have you been sitting here watching me sleep?


KIM KARDASHIAN - Are you going to sexually assault me?

LASHAWN - What is this, Harold and Maude? You're, like, ancient.

KIM KARDASHIAN - You're right. Oh god. **collapses into a crying fit**

LASHAWN - I'm just here to see if you'll sign this sweatshirt for my MeeMaw. She's a big fan.


LASHAWN - Sorry, ma'am. **he leaves**

KIM KARDASHIAN - Ma'am? It's over. It's all over. **jumps off the Palazzo balcony**

25 YEAR-OLD MAN FROM PASSAIC, NEW JERSEY WHO'S LOUNGING ON A POOL CHAIR - **absorbing the impact of Kim's dead body** Damn. I always wanted to be under Kim Kardashian, but not like this.

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