Friday, February 18, 2011

Jersey Shore Episode 21 - "The Great Depression"

Are they still a Greek Chorus if they're Italian?

DEENA - My bowels have hardened.

PAULY D - Assume a Jersey Turnpike stance. That ought to sufficiently loosen your stool.

DEENA - I've grown tired of "face down, ass up." It puts a strain on my glutes. And I've also grown tired of all of you.

THE SITUATION - Frankly, right now you're being a bit of a Slopopotamus.  Or whatever.

DEENA - What an awful thing to say, Michael. Just awful.

RONNIE - Ignore him. Come sit with me on the veranda and watch me drunk-grill.

DEENA -  Can we also sip Mint Juleps?

RONNIE-  A duh.  **they exit to the patio**

VINNY - If there's anything that can unbound her insides, it's Ronnie's drunk-grill.

SNOOKI - Indeed.  Cast, I'd like you all to meet the man I intend to unbound my insides, if you catch my drift. He's named after the Greek god of warcraft. Pallas.

GIOVANNI - It's actually Giovanni. And it's Italian.

SNOOKI  - Same dif. Well, we're off to fuck n' stuff. 'Tis been a fortnight since I've gotten any.

VINNY -  I think I'll do the same with Kat Von D over here. Goodnight.  **they all go upstairs** 

PAULY D - It looks as though Snooki has forgiven us for hanging Crocodilly in effigy.

THE SITUATION - But was it really in effigy? That was the actual Crocodilly we hanged.

PAULY D - You pose an interesting question. Jennifer? Penny for your thoughts?

JWOWW - Huh? You know I don't like to get involved with your philosophical bullshit.  I gotta get Sammi on the horn and put Ron on blast.

THE SITUATION - Jennifer, must you rely on colloquialisms for all your communications?

JWOWW - I don't know what the fuck you just said, but probably.

DEENA - I've returned from the veranda. Ron's tear ducts are, shall we say, active?

PAULY D -  **looks out on patio** Oh my. He's gone positively fetal.

THE SITUATION  - Should we attempt to console him?

PAULY D -  How else are we going to get any of those hand-formed beef patties?


JWOWW -  Just got done puttin' my face against a duck's dick. Sammi said she's been layin' on the couch an' shit with her moms all day.

THE SITUATION - Even after the floral arrangement Ron sent her? It had azaleas!

JWOWW - Lemme tell you something about chicks, Sitch. We don't want no fuckin' flowers. We just want respect, like all of yous.

PAULY D - Despite her rough demeanor and foul mouth, Jennifer provides valuable insight on the fairer sex.


JWOWW - Now who wants to play with my tits? 


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