SNOOKI - Cabbie? I'm frightened. I haven't seen a strip mall or a Buffalo Wild Wings for twenty minutes.
DEENA - We're not going to the city, are we? I don't think I can handle another night in Newark.
CABBIE - That's what you people consider "the city"? Silly guidettes. We're going to New York.
SNOOKI & DEENA - NEW YORK CITY!?!?!
CABBIE - Pace Picante commercial impressions? So 1997. Grow up.
DEENA - We were supposed to go meet greasy meatheads at Jenks tonight.
CABBIE - So now you spend the evening in the greatest city on Earth. I fail to see the problem.
SNOOKI - You don't understand. We're tan and like Juicy Couture.
DEENA - We don't fit in there. The guys are all pale and wear scarves, and are looking for girls who are pale and wear scarves.
CABBIE - Then go to the Times Square Olive Garden and check out South Street Seaport. Big whoop.
SNOOKI - It is a big whoop. We're Meatballs. Meatballs don't leave the suburbs.
DEENA - Except for club appearances that pay twenty grand.
SNOOKI - Fifty grand. You'll get there someday, Deen.
CABBIE - So what do you want me to do, turn around?
SNOOKI & DEENA - YES!
CABBIE - You don't even want to stop in the city for a little while? Have some dinner? Grab a drink? Mock homeless people?
SNOOKI - Too scary.
CABBIE - Fine, then. But you better pay me in cash for this trip. No credit cards.
DEENA - We don't have cash.
CABBIE - Get out.
**the cabbie kicks them out in Newark, where they still have the opportunity to eat dinner, grab a drink, and mock homeless people. The girls prove that everything you could ever want, you can find in New Jersey. The end.**
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