Monday, January 31, 2011

Kim & Kourtney Take New York Episode 2 - "Start Spreading the News"

Scott Disick kills a man with his bare hands. And looks damn good doing it.

RANDOM DRUNK DUDE - Hey girl. What do me, Reggie Bush, Miles Austin and Melissa Rivers all have in common?

KIM KARDASHIAN - You've all appeared on the E! network?

RANDOM DRUNK DUDE -  Well, yes. But I was going to make a joke about how we've all been burrowed inside that fine rump o' yours. Me, only in the future sense, of course.


RANDOM DRUNK DUDE - Thanks. I've always pictured myself as sort of a Dane Cook-Lite. Irreverent, yet fully focused on the current -

RANDOM DRUNK CHICK - **interrupts while wearing an offensively high ponytail** What the fuck you doing talking to my man?

KIM KARDASHIAN - Huh? He came up to me talking about Melissa Rivers camping out in my ass.

RANDOM DRUNK CHICK - Oh yeah? I should be honored that someone as gorgeous and sex-tapeually proficient as yourself would deem my plebeian boyfriend as worthy enough to even spit on. But... I'm not. Fuck you, whore.

SCOTT DISICK - **in a Mr. Belding voice** Hey hey hey, what is going on here?

RANDOM DRUNK CHICK - Your baby mama's sister responded when my boyfriend spoke to her!

SCOTT DISICK- She did? Way out of line, Kim.  **punches Kim in the stomach.** 

KIM KARDASHIAN - Ow! That fuckin' hurt!

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN- Scott, I thought we had worked out your anger issues. Dr. Drew said it stems from your strained relationship with your paternal grandmother and her pet chimp.

SCOTT DISICK - Daniel. Daniel was his name. And he was a first-class asshole. But I'm not angry. I just felt like punching you sister in the stomach.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Oh. Ok. She's not even my favorite, so it's cool.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN- And I can see why. Would Kim ever do this? **humps Henry, the blow-up giraffe.** 

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - You so crazy! **they roll around on the ground together.** 

KIM KARDASHIAN  -  I'm so pissed I'm going to take off all my clothes and pose for a photograph!

SCOTT DISICK - You show 'em, Kim. You show 'em.

No comments:

Post a Comment

web statistics
Wall Street Journal